Last Orders

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<> <<set $gamestart to true>> [[endnight]] [[entbooking]] [[pubreptest]] Current act: $act <>

<> /* SETUP */ <<set $demo to true>> <<set $gamestart to false>> <<set $pubname to "The Stuck Pig">> <<set $pubrep to 10>> <<set $temprep to 0>> <<set $dotw to 1>> <<set $week to 1>> <<set $day to 1>> <<set $time to 1>> <<set $talk to 0>> /* STORYLETS */ <<set $storylets to ["chainrep1", "hazarg", "beerlost", "slip"]>> <<set $entstorylets to ["quiz1", "comedy1", "karaoke1", "drag1", "rock1", "folk1", "wine1", "supper1"]>> <<set $beerlost to 0>> /* PC STATS */ <<set $pcname to"Rowan">> <<set $handy to 0>> <<set $banter to 0>> <<set $firstaid to 0>> <<set $handytrain to 1>> <<set $bantertrain to 1>> <<set $firstaidtrain to 1>> <<set $trainoption to 0>> <<set $pcjob to "">> <<set $jobs to ["builder", "salesperson", "paramedic"]>> /* NPC STATS */ <<set $hazapp to 20>> <<set $hazstory to 0>> <<set $metshirl to false>> <<set $natter to 1>> <<set $metalex to false>> <<set $brass to 1>> <<set $metravi to false>> <<set $vol to 1>> <<set $radiobooked to false>> <<set $radioshow to 0>> <<set $donations to 0>> /* FINANCIALS */ <<set $money to 1500>> <<set $profit to 0>> /* RENOVATION */ <<set $renovated to 1>> <<set $walls to 1>> <<set $wallsBought to false>> <<set $wallsProg to 0>> <<set $walls1 to false>> <<set $walls2 to false>> <<set $walls3 to false>> <<set $fabric to 1>> <<set $fabricBought to false>> <<set $fabricProg to 0>> <<set $fabric1 to false>> <<set $fabric2 to false>> <<set $fabric3 to false>> <<set $decor to 1>> <<set $decorBought to false>> <<set $decorProg to 0>> <<set $decor1 to false>> <<set $decor2 to false>> <<set $decor3 to false>> <<set $lights to 1>> <<set $lightsBought to false>> <<set $lightsProg to 0>> <<set $lights1 to false>> <<set $lights2 to false>> <<set $lights3 to false>> <<set $garden to 1>> <<set $gardenBought to false>> <<set $gardenProg to 0>> <<set $garden1 to false>> <<set $garden2 to false>> <<set $garden3 to false>> <<set $thisReno to 0>> /* BEER STATS */ <<set $beers to ["Lager", "Bitter", "Stout", "Cider"]>> <<set $drinks to ["House Red", "House White", "Vodka", "Gin", "Whisky"]>> <<set $snacks to ["Peanuts", "Crisps", "Pork Scratchings"]>> <<set $punters to ["local", "local"]>> <<set $visitors to []>> <<set $hereTonight to []>> <<set $lagerTotal to 0>> <<set $bitterTotal to 0>> <<set $stoutTotal to 0>> <<set $ciderTotal to 0>> <<set $IPATotal to 0>> <<set $porterTotal to 0>> <<set $houseredTotal to 0>> <<set $housewhiteTotal to 0>> <<set $vodkaTotal to 0>> <<set $ginTotal to 0>> <<set $whiskyTotal to 0>> <<set $tequilaTotal to 0>> <<set $proseccoTotal to 0>> <<set $peanutsTotal to 0>> <<set $crispsTotal to 0>> <<set $scratchingsTotal to 0>> <<set $pretzelsTotal to 0>> <<set $peanutsTotal to 0>> <<set $localsHere to 0>> <<set $studentsHere to 0>> <<set $altsHere to 0>> <<set $hipstersHere to 0>> <<set $bougiesHere to 0>> <<set $localsLeft to 0>> <<set $studentsLeft to 0>> <<set $altsLeft to 0>> <<set $hipstersLeft to 0>> <<set $bougiesLeft to 0>> <<set $lagersBought to 0>> <<set $bittersBought to 0>> <<set $stoutsBought to 0>> <<set $cidersBought to 0>> <<set $IPAsBought to 0>> <<set $portersBought to 0>> <<set $houseredsBought to 0>> <<set $housewhitesBought to 0>> <<set $vodkasBought to 0>> <<set $ginsBought to 0>> <<set $whiskysBought to 0>> <<set $tequilasBought to 0>> <<set $proseccosBought to 0>> <<set $peanutsBought to 0>> <<set $crispsBought to 0>> <<set $scratchingsBought to 0>> <<set $pretzelsBought to 0>> <<set $peasBought to 0>> <<set $ipapos to 0>> <<set $porterpos to 0>> <<set $beersmap to [ { id: 0, name: "Lager", brand: "Helles Bells", units: 100, base: 2, price: 4, percent: "4.0%", notes: "Light and hoppy" }, { id: 1, name: "Bitter", brand: "Buckthorn’s Best", units: 100, base: 2, price: 4, percent: "4.2%", notes: "Bitter and malty" }, { id: 2, name: "Stout", brand: "Cunningham’s", units: 100, base: 2.5, price: 4, percent: "4.5%", notes: "Dark and rich" }, { id: 3, name: "Cider", brand: "Adder Bite", units: 100, base: 2.5, price: 4, percent: "4.8%", notes: "Dry and sharp" } ]>> <<set $newBeers to [ { id: 5, name: "IPA", brand: "Hop Pocket", units: 100, base: 3, price: 5, percent: "5.2%", notes: "Citric and zesty" }, { id: 6, name: "Porter", brand: "Ruby Tuesday", units: 100, base: 3, price: 5, percent: "6.2%", notes: "Deep and smoky" } ]>> <<set $teqpos to 0>> <<set $propos to 0>> <<set $drinksmap to [ { id: 0, name: "House Red", brand: "Pinot Phwoar", units: 100, base: 2, price: 4, percent: "13.5%", notes: "175ml glass" }, { id: 1, name: "House White", brand: "Sauvignon Plonk", units: 100, base: 2, price: 4, percent: "10.5%", notes: "175ml glass" }, { id: 2, name: "Vodka", brand: "White Duck", units: 100, base: 2.5, price: 4.5, percent: "38%", notes: "Single with mixer" }, { id: 3, name: "Gin", brand: "Lambeth Diamond", units: 100, base: 2.5, price: 4.5, percent: "39%", notes: "Single with mixer" }, { id: 4, name: "Whisky", brand: "John David’s", units: 100, base: 2.5, price: 4.5, percent: "40%", notes: "Single with mixer" } ]>> <<set $newDrinks to [ { id: 5, name: "Tequila", brand: "1900 Silver", units: 100, base: 3, price: 5, percent: "40%", notes: "Shot with salt and lime" }, { id: 7, name: "Prosecco", brand: "Sparkle O’Clock", units: 100, base: 3, price: 5, percent: "12%", notes: "125ml glass" } ]>> <<set $snacksmap to [ { id: 0, name: "Peanuts", units: 100, base: 0.5, price: 1.5, notes: "Salted or dry roasted" }, { id: 1, name: "Crisps", units: 100, base: 0.5, price: 1.5, notes: "Range of flavours" }, { id: 2, name: "Pork Scratchings", units: 100, base: 0.5, price: 1.5, notes: "Now with less hair!" } ]>> <<set $newSnacks to [ { id: 4, name: "Pretzels", units: 100, base: 1, price: 2, notes: "Sour cream or jalapeno" }, { id: 5, name: "Wasabi Peas", units: 100, base: 1, price: 2, notes: "Warning: spicy!" } ]>> <<set $pretpos to 0>> <<set $peapos to 0>> <<set $tapone to $beers[0]>> <<set $taptwo to $beers[1]>> <<set $tapthree to $beers[2]>> <<set $tapfour to $beers[3]>> /* ENTERTAINMENT */ <<set $entertainment to false>> <<set $act to 0>> <<set $actDays to ["Thursday", "Friday", "Saturday", "Sunday"]>> <<set $entacts to [ { id: 0, ref: "pub quiz", name: "Pub Quiz", description: "A night of general knowledge and trivia", cost: 50, ticket: 2, popularity: 5, visitors: "hipster" }, { id: 1, ref: "comedy show", name: "Comedian", description: "An old fashioned evening of comedy", cost: 100, ticket: 5, popularity: 10, visitors: "local" }, { id: 2, ref: "karaoke", name: "Karaoke", description: "Hire a karaoke machine with all the hits", cost: 100, ticket: 5, popularity: 10, visitors: "student" }, { id: 3, ref: "drag show", name: "Drag Show", description: "A spectacular cabaret show", cost: 150, ticket: 10, popularity: 10, visitors: "alt" }, { id: 4, ref: "rock band", name: "Rock Band", description: "A high-octane rock performance", cost: 150, ticket: 10, popularity: 10, visitors: "alt" }, { id: 5, ref: "folk band", name: "Folk Band", description: "A relaxed evening of folk music", cost: 150, ticket: 10, popularity: 10, visitors: "hipster" }, { id: 6, ref: "wine tasting", name: "Wine Tasting", description: "A sommelier will bring a selection of wines to taste", cost: 200, ticket: 20, popularity: 10, visitors: "bougie" }, { id: 7, ref: "supper club", name: "Supper Club", description: "A chef will prepare a menu of elegant small plates", cost: 500, ticket: 30, popularity: 15, visitors: "bougie" } ]>> <>

<> <<set $gamestart to true>> <h2>$pubname [[(Head Out)|village]]</h2> <<multi $renovated>>$pubname looks shabby and tired.|$pubname looks cleaner than usual.|$pubname is starting to look half-decent.|$pubname actually looks like a decent pub now.|$pubname is unrecognisable from when you first moved back.|$pubname is as nice-looking a pub as you’ve ever seen.|BUG<</multi>> <<if $wallsProg gte 100>> <<multi $walls>>The paper on the walls is peeling in places.|The walls are painted in elegant neutral colours, with a subtle stripe.|The wallpaper is lushly patterned with jewel-toned birds and flowers.|Wooden cladding covers the walls, giving the place a cosy feel.|BUG<</multi>> <<elseif $wallsProg gt 0>> The walls are a work-in-progress. <<else>> The paper on the walls is peeling in places. <</if>> <<if $fabricProg gte 100>> <<multi $fabric>>Stuffing spills from the threadbare material of the booths.|The booths are upholstered in rich, dark leather that is buttery to the touch.|The fabric covering the booths is bright and cheery, dotted with small flowers.|The booths are covered in a bright, bold fabric that draws the eye.|BUG<</multi>> <<elseif $fabricProg gt 0>> The booths are in the middle of being reupholstered. <<else>> Stuffing spills from the threadbare material of the booths. <</if>> <<if $decorProg gte 100>> <<multi $decor>>Faded old photos and ugly paintings crowd the walls.|The room is full of unusual furniture, kitschy antiques and bold, jazzy artworks.|The furniture is all clean lines and functional elegance, and several large statement art pieces hang on the walls.|The furniture is made of exposed chrome and wood, with the occasional pop of colour from an abstract painting.|BUG<</multi>> <<elseif $decorProg gt 0>> All the horrible photos and paintings are down, and new art is starting to go up. <<else>> Faded old photos and ugly paintings crowd the walls. <</if>> <<if $lightsProg gte 100>> <<multi $lights>>The ancient light fixtures are nicotine-stained and full of dead flies.|Gilded light fixtures hang from the ceiling, all clean lines and style.|A crystal chandelier glows above you, and sconces cast light from the walls.|Simple cotton lampshades bathe the room in soft light, while several exposed bulbs hang at different heights above the bar.|BUG<</multi>> <<elseif $lightsProg gt 0>> The lightbulbs are bare while you work on installing the new fixtures. <<else>> The ancient light fixtures are nicotine-stained and full of dead flies. <</if>> <<if $gardenProg gte 100>> <<multi $garden>>Outside, the garden is little more than a square of dry grass and concrete.|Outside, a winding gravel path is bordered in colourful wildflowers and overflowing herb beds.|Outside, terracotta pots full of rosemary and lavender send their delicate scents drifting into the pub.|Outside, a trickling water feature forms the centrepiece of an artful arrangement of succulents.|BUG<</multi>> <<elseif $gardenProg gt 0>> Outside, the garden is starting to take shape. <<else>> Outside, the garden is little more than a square of dry grass and concrete. <</if>> <<if ($week == 1) and ($dotw == 3) and ($time gte 3)>> Okay. Here you go. It's time to [[open the pub|firstshift]] for the first time. <<elseif ($dotw gte 3) and ($time gte 3)>> Time's getting on. Time to [[open the pub|shift]]. <<elseif $time gte 4>> It's getting late. You should [[go to bed|bed]]. <<else>> <<if $hazstory == 0>> Look for [[Hazel ♦|haz1]] <<elseif ($hazstory == 1) and ($week gt 1)>> <<elseif ($hazstory == 2) and ($week gt 2)>> <<elseif ($hazstory == 3) and ($week gt 3)>> <<elseif ($hazstory == 4) and ($week gt 4)>> <<elseif ($hazstory == 5) and ($week gt 5)>> <<else>> <</if>> <<if $renovated lt 6>> Renovations Purchase decorating materials to unlock renovation projects <</if>> <<if ($wallsBought is true) and ($wallsProg lt 100)>> <<opposed_stat "Wall Coverings" "" $wallsProg>> [[Work on Wall Coverings ♦|reno][$thisReno to 1]] <</if>> <<if ($fabricBought is true) and ($fabricProg lt 100)>> <<opposed_stat "Upholstery" "" $fabricProg>> [[Work on Upholstery ♦|reno][$thisReno to 2]] <</if>> <<if ($decorBought is true) and ($decorProg lt 100)>> <<opposed_stat "Decorations" "" $decorProg>> [[Work on Decorations ♦|reno][$thisReno to 3]] <</if>> <<if ($lightsBought is true) and ($lightsProg lt 100)>> <<opposed_stat "Lighting" "" $lightsProg>> [[Work on Lighting ♦|reno][$thisReno to 4]] <</if>> <<if ($gardenBought is true) and ($gardenProg lt 100)>> <<opposed_stat "Garden" "" $gardenProg>> [[Work on Garden ♦|reno][$thisReno to 5]] <</if>> <<if $renovated gte 2>> <<click "Update Styles">><<toggleclass "#updateint" "hidden">><</click>> <div id="updateint" class="hidden"> <table> <tr> <th>Type</th> <th>Style 1</th> <th>Style 2</th> <th>Style 3</th> </tr> <<if $wallsProg gte 100>> <tr> <th>Wall Coverings</th> <td><<if $walls1 is true>>[[Modern|base][$walls to 2]]<<else>>Modern<</if>></td> <td><<if $walls2 is true>>[[Arts & Crafts|base][$walls to 3]]<<else>>Arts & Crafts<</if>></td> <td><<if $walls3 is true>>[[Rustic|base][$walls to 4]]<<else>>Rustic<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> <<if $fabricProg gte 100>> <tr> <th>Upholstery</th> <td><<if $fabric1 is true>>[[Traditional|base][$fabric to 2]]<<else>>Traditional<</if>></td> <td><<if $fabric2 is true>>[[Regency|base][$fabric to 3]]<<else>>Regency<</if>></td> <td><<if $fabric3 is true>>[[Boho|base][$fabric to 4]]<<else>>Boho<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> <<if $decorBought is true>> <tr> <th>Decoration</th> <td><<if $decor1 is true>>[[Maximalist|base][$decor to 2]]<<else>>Maximalist<</if>></td> <td><<if $decor2 is true>>[[Mid-Century|base][$decor to 3]]<<else>>Mid-Century<</if>></td> <td><<if $decor3 is true>>[[Boho|base][$decor to 4]]<<else>>Boho<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> <<if $lightsProg gte 100>> <tr> <th>Lighting</th> <td><<if $lights1 is true>>[[Art Deco|base][$lights to 2]]<<else>>Art Deco<</if>></td> <td><<if $lights2 is true>>[[Rococo|base][$lights to 3]]<<else>>Rococo<</if>></td> <td><<if $lights3 is true>>[[Nordic|base][$lights to 4]]<<else>>Nordic<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> <<if $gardenProg gte 100>> <tr> <th>Garden</th> <td><<if $garden1 is true>>[[Cottage|base][$garden to 2]]<<else>>Cottage<</if>></td> <td><<if $garden2 is true>>[[Mediterranean|base][$garden to 3]]<<else>>Mediterranean<</if>></td> <td><<if $garden3 is true>>[[Contemporary|base][$garden to 4]]<<else>>Contemporary<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> </table> </div> <</if>> <</if>> <>

<> <<if $gamestart == true>> <<if !tags().includes('pubmaster')>> <<if $dotw == 1>> Monday <<elseif $dotw == 2>> Tuesday <<elseif $dotw == 3>> Wednesday <<elseif $dotw == 4>> Thursday <<elseif $dotw == 5>> Friday <<elseif $dotw == 6>> Saturday <<elseif $dotw == 7>> Sunday <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<if $time == 1>> Morning <<elseif $time == 2>> Afternoon <<else>> Evening <</if>> - Week $week <<if $dotw lte 2>> <<if $time == 1>> ♢♢♢ <<elseif $time == 2>> ♦♢♢ <<elseif $time == 3>> ♦♦♢ <<else>> ♦♦♦ <</if>> <<else>> <<if $time == 1>> ♢♢ <<elseif $time == 2>> ♦♢ <<else>> ♦♦ <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <<if tags().includes('showmenu')>> <h3>[[Open PubMaster™|pmdash]]</h3> <</if>> <<if (!tags().includes('showmenu')) and (!tags().includes('pubmaster'))>> <</if>> <<if tags().includes('pubmaster')>> <h3><<link "Close App" $return>><</link>></h3> Welcome to PubMaster™! [[Dashboard|pmdash]] [[Menu & Pricing|prices]] [[Online Store|brewery]] [[Training|training]] <</if>> <<if $money gte 1000>> <<set _balance to ($money - 1000)>> Bank Balance: £<<= _balance.toFixed(2)>> <<else>> Bank Balance: Overdrawn <</if>> <<if $money lt 1000>> <<set _odbalance to (1000 - $money)>> <div class = "overdrawn">Overdrawn: -£<<= _odbalance.toFixed(2)>></div> <</if>> Overdraft Limit: £1000.00 <<if !tags().includes('pubmaster')>> Pub Reputation: <<if $pubrep gte 80>>★★★★<<elseif ($pubrep gte 60) and ($pubrep lte 79)>>★★★☆<<elseif ($pubrep gte 40) and ($pubrep lte 59)>>★★☆☆<<elseif ($pubrep gte 20) and ($pubrep lte 39)>>★☆☆☆<<else>>☆☆☆☆<</if>> Fixer Upper: <<if $handy gte 75>>★★★<<elseif $handy gte 50>>★★☆<<elseif $handy gte 25>>★☆☆<<else>>☆☆☆<</if>> Gift of the Gab: <<if $banter gte 75>>★★★<<elseif $banter gte 50>>★★☆<<elseif $banter gte 25>>★☆☆<<else>>☆☆☆<</if>> Helping Hands: <<if $firstaid gte 75>>★★★<<elseif $firstaid gte 50>>★★☆<<elseif $firstaid gte 25>>★☆☆<<else>>☆☆☆<</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <>

<> <h2>New Stock [[(Current Stock)|brewery]]</h2> <<if $beers.includes("IPA") and $beers.includes("Porter") and $drinks.includes("Tequila") and $drinks.includes("Prosecco") and $snacks.includes("Pretzels") and $snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas")>> There is no new stock available to purchase <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("IPA") and $beers.includes("Porter")>> <<else>> <h3>New Draught</h3> <table> <tr> <th>Drink</th> <th>Name</th> <th>%</th> <th>Notes</th> <th>Buy (100 units)</th> </tr> <<if !$beers.includes("IPA")>> <tr> <td>$newBeers[0].name</td> <td>$newBeers[0].brand</td> <td>$newBeers[0].percent</td> <td>$newBeers[0].notes</td> <td><<if $money gte 300>>[[£300|newstock][$beersmap.push($newBeers[0]); $beers.push("IPA"); $ipapos to ($beersmap.length - 1); $money -= 300]]<<else>>£300<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> <<if !$beers.includes("Porter")>> <tr> <td>$newBeers[1].name</td> <td>$newBeers[1].brand</td> <td>$newBeers[1].percent</td> <td>$newBeers[1].notes</td> <td><<if $money gte 300>>[[£300|newstock][$beersmap.push($newBeers[1]); $beers.push("Porter"); $porterpos to ($beersmap.length - 1); $money -= 300]]<<else>>£300<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> </table> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Tequila") and $drinks.includes("Prosecco")>> <<else>> <h3>New Wines & Spirits</h3> <table> <tr> <th>Drink</th> <th>Name</th> <th>%</th> <th>Notes</th> <th>Buy (50 units)</th> </tr> <<if !$drinks.includes("Tequila")>> <tr> <td>$newDrinks[0].name</td> <td>$newDrinks[0].brand</td> <td>$newDrinks[0].percent</td> <td>$newDrinks[0].notes</td> <td><<if $money gte 150>>[[£150|newstock][$newDrinks.push($newDrinks[0]); $drinks.push("Tequila"); $teqpos to ($newDrinks.length - 1); $money -= 150]]<<else>>£150<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> <<if !$drinks.includes("Prosecco")>> <tr> <td>$newDrinks[1].name</td> <td>$newDrinks[1].brand</td> <td>$newDrinks[1].percent</td> <td>$newDrinks[1].notes</td> <td><<if $money gte 150>>[[£150|newstock][$newDrinks.push($newDrinks[0]); $drinks.push("Prosecco"); $propos to ($newDrinks.length - 1); $money -= 150]]<<else>>£150<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> </table> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pretzels") and $snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas")>> <<else>> <h3>New Snacks</h3> <table> <tr> <th>Name</th> <th>Notes</th> <th>Buy (100 units)</th> </tr> <<if !$snacks.includes("Pretzels")>> <tr> <td>$newSnacks[0].name</td> <td>$newSnacks[0].notes</td> <td><<if $money gte 100>>[[£100|newstock][$snacksmap.push($newSnacks[0]); $snacks.push("Pretzels"); $pretpos to ($snacksmap.length - 1); $money -= 100]]<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> <<if !$snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas")>> <tr> <td>$newSnacks[1].name</td> <td>$newSnacks[1].notes</td> <td><<if $money gte 100>>[[£300|newstock][$snacksmap.push($newSnacks[1]); $snacks.push("Wasabi Peas"); $peaspos to ($snacksmap.length - 1); $money -= 300]]<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> </table> <</if>> <>

<><<widget "fair_minus">><<fair_plus $args[0] -$args[1]>><</widget>><> <<widget "opposed_stat">><> <div class="statBar"> <div style="float:right"> $args[1] <<= 100-$args[2]>>% </div> <<= '<div class="statLeftBg" style="width:'+$args[2]+'%"> </div>'>> <div> $args[0] $args[2]%</div> </div> <><</widget>>

<<set _customers to random(5,20)>> _customers customers <<if $tapone == "Lager">> <<set _lagerPrice to $beersmap[0].price>> <<set _lagerBase to $beersmap[0].base>> <<set _lagerProfit to (_lagerPrice - _lagerBase)>> Lager profit per unit _lagerProfit <<set _lagerSold to (_customers * _lagerProfit)>> You have made <<= _lagerSold.toFixed(2)>> <</if>> [[start]]

<> Here it is. The Stuck Pig. Right in the heart of Otterley village, a stone’s throw from the square. You’d like to say that the pub is just how you remember it, but it isn’t. It’s worse. The whitewashed plaster is dull, crumbling away in places, and the leaded windows are in need of a good clean. Desiccated plants spill brown tendrils from the hanging baskets that flank the entrance. Someone has pinned a handwritten sign to the door—‘Closed Until Further Notice’. Beside you, Hazel takes a long hit of her vape. ‘Wow,’ she says, exhaling a mint-scented cloud. ‘What a shithole.’ [[Your sister isn’t wrong.|intro2]] <>

<> <<widget "customers">> /*DRINKS*/ <<set _taps to []>> <<set _taps.push($tapone)>> <<set _taps.push($taptwo)>> <<set _taps.push($tapthree)>> <<set _taps.push($tapfour)>> /* PRICE POINTS */ <<set _lagersBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _lagerPrice to $beersmap[0].price>> <<set _lagerBase to $beersmap[0].base>> <<set _lagerProfit to (_lagerPrice - _lagerBase)>> <<set _bittersBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _bitterPrice to $beersmap[1].price>> <<set _bitterBase to $beersmap[1].base>> <<set _bitterProfit to (_bitterPrice - _bitterBase)>> <<set _stoutsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _stoutPrice to $beersmap[2].price>> <<set _stoutBase to $beersmap[2].base>> <<set _stoutProfit to (_stoutPrice - _stoutBase)>> <<set _cidersBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _ciderPrice to $beersmap[3].price>> <<set _ciderBase to $beersmap[3].base>> <<set _ciderProfit to (_ciderPrice - _ciderBase)>> <<set _IPAsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _IPAPrice to $beersmap[$ipapos].price>> <<set _IPABase to $beersmap[$ipapos].base>> <<set _IPAProfit to (_IPAPrice - _IPABase)>> <<set _portersBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _porterPrice to $beersmap[$porterpos].price>> <<set _porterBase to $beersmap[$porterpos].base>> <<set _porterProfit to (_porterPrice - _porterBase)>> <<set _houseredsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _houseredPrice to $drinksmap[0].price>> <<set _houseredBase to $drinksmap[0].base>> <<set _houseredProfit to (_houseredPrice - _houseredBase)>> <<set _housewhitesBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _housewhitePrice to $drinksmap[1].price>> <<set _housewhiteBase to $drinksmap[1].base>> <<set _housewhiteProfit to (_housewhitePrice - _housewhiteBase)>> <<set _vodkasBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _vodkaPrice to $drinksmap[2].price>> <<set _vodkaBase to $drinksmap[2].base>> <<set _vodkaProfit to (_vodkaPrice - _vodkaBase)>> <<set _ginsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _ginPrice to $drinksmap[3].price>> <<set _ginBase to $drinksmap[3].base>> <<set _ginProfit to (_ginPrice - _ginBase)>> <<set _whiskysBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _whiskyPrice to $drinksmap[4].price>> <<set _whiskyBase to $drinksmap[4].base>> <<set _whiskyProfit to (_whiskyPrice - _whiskyBase)>> <<set _tequilasBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _tequilaPrice to $drinksmap[$teqpos].price>> <<set _tequilaBase to $drinksmap[$teqpos].base>> <<set _tequilaProfit to (_tequilaPrice - _tequilaBase)>> <<set _proseccosBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _proseccoPrice to $drinksmap[$propos].price>> <<set _proseccoBase to $drinksmap[$propos].base>> <<set _proseccoProfit to (_proseccoPrice - _proseccoBase)>> <<set _peanutsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _peanutsPrice to $snacksmap[0].price>> <<set _peanutsBase to $snacksmap[0].base>> <<set _peanutsProfit to (_peanutsPrice - _peanutsBase)>> <<set _crispsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _crispsPrice to $snacksmap[1].price>> <<set _crispsBase to $snacksmap[1].base>> <<set _crispsProfit to (_crispsPrice - _crispsBase)>> <<set _scratchingsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _scratchingsPrice to $snacksmap[2].price>> <<set _scratchingsBase to $snacksmap[2].base>> <<set _scratchingsProfit to (_scratchingsPrice - _scratchingsBase)>> <<set _pretzelsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _pretzelsPrice to $snacksmap[$pretpos].price>> <<set _pretzelsBase to $snacksmap[$pretpos].base>> <<set _pretzelsProfit to (_pretzelsPrice - _pretzelsBase)>> <<set _peasBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _peasPrice to $snacksmap[$peapos].price>> <<set _peasBase to $snacksmap[$peapos].base>> <<set _peasProfit to (_peasPrice - _peasBase)>> /* PUNTERS */ <<if $hereTonight.length gte 1>> <<set $hereTonight.shuffle()>> <<set _punter to $hereTonight[0]>> <</if>> /* LOCAL */ <<if _punter == "local">> <<set _localDrink to []>> <<set _localDrinkChoice to "">> <<set $localsHere += 1>> <<set _noDrink to 0>> <<if (_taps.includes("Lager")) and (_lagerPrice lte 5) and ($beersmap[0].units gt 0)>> <<set _localDrink.push("Lager", "Lager")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_taps.includes("Bitter")) and (_bitterPrice lte 5) and ($beersmap[1].units gt 0)>> <<set _localDrink.push("Bitter", "Bitter")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_taps.includes("Stout")) and (_stoutPrice lte 5) and ($beersmap[2].units gt 0)>> <<set _localDrink.push("Stout")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_housewhitePrice lte 5) and ($drinksmap[1].units gt 0)>> <<set _localDrink.push("House White")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_whiskyPrice lte 5) and ($drinksmap[4].units gt 0)>> <<set _localDrink.push("Whisky")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<set _totalCustomers += 1>> <<if _noDrink gt 0>> <<set _localDrink.push("NoDrink")>> <</if>> <<set _localDrinkChoice to _localDrink.random()>> <<if _localDrinkChoice == "Lager">> <<if $beersmap[0].units lt 5>> <<set $lagersBought += $beersmap[0].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[0].units * _lagerProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[0].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _lagersBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $lagersBought += _lagersBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_lagersBoughtNow * _lagerProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[0].units -= _lagersBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _localDrinkChoice == "Bitter">> <<if $beersmap[1].units lt 5>> <<set $bittersBought += $beersmap[1].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[1].units * _bitterProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[1].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _bittersBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $bittersBought += _bittersBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_bittersBoughtNow * _bitterProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[1].units -= _bittersBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _localDrinkChoice == "Stout">> <<if $beersmap[2].units lt 5>> <<set $stoutsBought += $beersmap[0].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[2].units * _stoutProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[2].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _stoutsBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $stoutsBought += _stoutsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_stoutsBoughtNow * _stoutProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[2].units -= _stoutsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _localDrinkChoice == "House White">> <<if $drinksmap[1].units lt 5>> <<set $housewhitesBought += $drinksmap[1].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[1].units * _housewhiteProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[1].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _housewhitesBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $housewhitesBought += _housewhitesBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_housewhitesBoughtNow * _housewhiteProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[1].units -= _housewhitesBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _localDrinkChoice == "Whisky">> <<if $drinksmap[4].units lt 5>> <<set $whiskysBought += $drinksmap[1].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[4].units * _whiskyProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[4].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _whiskysBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $whiskysBought += _whiskysBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_whiskysBoughtNow * _whiskyProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[4].units -= _whiskysBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _localDrinkChoice == "NoDrink">> <<set $localsLeft += 1>> <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<if _localDrinkChoice != "NoDrink">> <<set _snackBuy to random(1,3)>> <<if _snackBuy == 1>> <<elseif _snackBuy == 2>> <<if _peanutsPrice lte 2.5>> <<if $snacksmap[0].units lt 3>> <<set $peanutsBought += $snacksmap[0].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[0].units * _peanutsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[0].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _peanutsBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $peanutsBought += _peanutsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_peanutsBoughtNow * _peanutsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[0].units -= _peanutsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <<else>> <<if _scratchingsPrice lte 2.5>> <<if $snacksmap[2].units lt 3>> <<set $scratchingsBought += $snacksmap[2].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[2].units * _scratchingsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[2].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _scratchingsBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $scratchingsBought += _scratchingsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_scratchingsBoughtNow * _scratchingsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[2].units -= _scratchingsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> /* STUDENT*/ <<elseif _punter == "student">> <<set _studentDrink to []>> <<set _studentDrinkChoice to "">> <<set $studentsHere += 1>> <<set _noDrink to 0>> <<if (_taps.includes("Lager")) and (_lagerPrice lte 5) and ($beersmap[0].units gt 0)>> <<set _studentDrink.push("Lager", "Lager")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_taps.includes("Cider")) and (_ciderPrice lte 5) and ($beersmap[3].units gt 0)>> <<set _studentDrink.push("Cider", "Cider")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_vodkaPrice lte 5) and ($drinksmap[2].units gt 0)>> <<set _studentDrink.push("Vodka", "Vodka")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if ($drinks.includes("Tequila")) and (_tequilaPrice lte 5) and ($drinksmap[$teqpos].units gt 0)>> <<set _studentDrink.push("Tequila")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_ginPrice lte 5) and ($drinksmap[3].units gt 0)>> <<set _studentDrink.push("Gin")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<set _totalCustomers += 1>> <<if _noDrink gt 0>> <<set _studentDrink.push("NoDrink")>> <</if>> <<set _studentDrinkChoice to _studentDrink.random()>> <<if _studentDrinkChoice == "Lager">> <<if $beersmap[0].units lt 6>> <<set $lagersBought += $beersmap[0].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[0].units * _lagerProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[0].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _lagersBoughtNow to random(1,6)>> <<set $lagersBought += _lagersBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_lagersBoughtNow * _lagerProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[0].units -= _lagersBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _studentDrinkChoice == "Cider">> <<if $beersmap[3].units lt 6>> <<set $cidersBought += $beersmap[3].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[3].units * _ciderProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[3].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _cidersBoughtNow to random(1,6)>> <<set $cidersBought += _cidersBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_cidersBoughtNow * _ciderProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[3].units -= _cidersBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _studentDrinkChoice == "Vodka">> <<if $drinksmap[2].units lt 6>> <<set $vodkasBought += $drinksmap[2].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[2].units * _vodkaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[2].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _vodkasBoughtNow to random(1,6)>> <<set $vodkasBought += _vodkasBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_vodkasBoughtNow * _vodkaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[2].units -= _vodkasBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _studentDrinkChoice == "Tequila">> <<if $drinksmap[$teqpos].units lt 6>> <<set $tequilasBought += $drinksmap[$teqpos].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[$teqpos].units * _tequilaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[$teqpos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _tequilasBoughtNow to random(1,6)>> <<set $tequilasBought += _tequilasBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_tequilasBoughtNow * _tequilaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[$teqpos].units -= _tequilasBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _studentDrinkChoice == "Gin">> <<if $drinksmap[3].units lt 6>> <<set $ginsBought += $drinksmap[3].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[3].units * _ginProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[3].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _ginsBoughtNow to random(1,6)>> <<set $ginsBought += _ginsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_ginsBoughtNow * _ginProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[3].units -= _ginsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _studentDrinkChoice == "NoDrink">> <<set $studentsLeft += 1>> <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<if _studentDrinkChoice != "NoDrink">> <<set _snackBuy to random(1,3)>> <<if _snackBuy == 1>> <<elseif _snackBuy == 2>> <<if _crispsPrice lte 2.5>> <<if $snacksmap[1].units lt 3>> <<set $crispsBought += $snacksmap[1].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[1].units * _crispsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[1].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _crispsBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $crispsBought += _crispsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_crispsBoughtNow * _crispsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[1].units -= _crispsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <<else>> <<if (_pretzelsPrice lte 2.5) and ($snacks.includes("Pretzels"))>> <<if $snacksmap[$pretpos].units lt 3>> <<set $pretzelsBought += $snacksmap[$pretpos].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[$pretpos].units * _pretzelsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[$pretpos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _pretzelsBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $pretzelsBought += _pretzelsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_pretzelsBoughtNow * _pretzelsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[$pretpos].units -= _pretzelsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> /* HIPSTER */ <<elseif _punter == "hipster">> <<set _hipsterDrink to []>> <<set _hipsterDrinkChoice to "">> <<set $hipstersHere += 1>> <<set _noDrink to 0>> <<if (_taps.includes("IPA")) and (_IPAPrice lte 6) and ($beersmap[$ipapos].units gt 0)>> <<set _hipsterDrink.push("IPA", "IPA")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_taps.includes("Porter")) and (_porterPrice lte 6) and ($beersmap[$porterpos].units gt 0)>> <<set _hipsterDrink.push("Porter", "Porter")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_whiskyPrice lte 6) and ($drinksmap[4].units gt 0)>> <<set _hipsterDrink.push("Whisky")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_taps.includes("Bitter")) and (_bitterPrice lte 6) and ($beersmap[1].units gt 0)>> <<set _hipsterDrink.push("Bitter")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_houseredPrice lte 6) and ($drinksmap[0].units gt 0)>> <<set _hipsterDrink.push("House Red")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<set _totalCustomers += 1>> <<if _noDrink gt 0>> <<set _hipsterDrink.push("NoDrink")>> <</if>> <<set _hipsterDrinkChoice to _hipsterDrink.random()>> <<if _hipsterDrinkChoice == "IPA">> <<if $beersmap[$ipapos].units lt 5>> <<set $IPAsBought += $beersmap[$ipapos].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[$ipapos].units * _IPAProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[$ipapos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _IPAsBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $IPAsBought += _IPAsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_IPAsBoughtNow * _IPAProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[$ipapos].units -= _IPAsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _hipsterDrinkChoice == "Porter">> <<if $beersmap[$porterpos].units lt 5>> <<set $portersBought += $beersmap[$porterpos].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[$porterpos].units * _porterProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[$porterpos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _portersBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $portersBought += _portersBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_portersBoughtNow * _porterProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[$porterpos].units -= _portersBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _hipsterDrinkChoice == "Whisky">> <<if $drinksmap[4].units lt 5>> <<set $whiskysBought += $drinksmap[4].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[4].units * _whiskyProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[4].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _whiskysBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $whiskysBought += _whiskysBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_whiskysBoughtNow * _whiskyProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[4].units -= _whiskysBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _hipsterDrinkChoice == "Bitter">> <<if $beersmap[1].units lt 5>> <<set $bittersBought += $beersmap[1].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[1].units * _bitterProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[1].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _bittersBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $bittersBought += _bittersBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_bittersBoughtNow * _bitterProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[1].units -= _bittersBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _hipsterDrinkChoice == "House Red">> <<if $drinksmap[0].units lt 5>> <<set $houseredsBought += $drinksmap[0].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[0].units * _houseredProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[0].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _houseredsBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $houseredsBought += _houseredsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_houseredsBoughtNow * _houseredProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[0].units -= _houseredsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _hipsterDrinkChoice == "NoDrink">> <<set $hipstersLeft += 1>> <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<if _hipsterDrinkChoice != "NoDrink">> <<set _snackBuy to random(1,3)>> <<if _snackBuy == 1>> <<elseif _snackBuy == 2>> <<if _scratchingsPrice lte 3>> <<if $snacksmap[2].units lt 3>> <<set $scratchingsBought += $snacksmap[2].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[2].units * _scratchingsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[2].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _scratchingsBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $scratchingsBought += _scratchingsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_scratchingsBoughtNow * _scratchingsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[2].units -= _scratchingsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <<else>> <<if (_peasPrice lte 3) and ($snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas"))>> <<if $snacksmap[$peapos].units lt 3>> <<set $peasBought += $snacksmap[$peapos].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[$peapos].units * _peasProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[$peapos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _peasBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $peasBought += _peasBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_peasBoughtNow * _peasProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[$peapos].units -= _peasBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> /* ALT */ <<elseif _punter == "alt">> <<set _altDrink to []>> <<set _altDrinkChoice to "">> <<set $altsHere += 1>> <<set _noDrink to 0>> <<if (_taps.includes("Stout")) and (_stoutPrice lte 6) and ($beersmap[2].units gt 0)>> <<set _altDrink.push("Stout", "Stout")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_taps.includes("Cider")) and (_ciderPrice lte 6) and ($beersmap[3].units gt 0)>> <<set _altDrink.push("Cider")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_vodkaPrice lte 6) and ($drinksmap[2].units gt 0)>> <<set _altDrink.push("Vodka")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_taps.includes("Porter")) and (_porterPrice lte 6) and ($beersmap[$porterpos].units gt 0)>> <<set _altDrink.push("Porter")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if ($drinks.includes("Tequila")) and (_tequilaPrice lte 6) and ($drinksmap[$teqpos].units gt 0)>> <<set _altDrink.push("Tequila", "Tequila")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<set _totalCustomers += 1>> <<if _noDrink gt 0>> <<set _altDrink.push("NoDrink")>> <</if>> <<set _altDrinkChoice to _altDrink.random()>> <<if _altDrinkChoice == "Stout">> <<if $beersmap[2].units lt 5>> <<set $stoutsBought += $beersmap[2].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[2].units * _stoutProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[2].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _stoutsBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $stoutsBought += _stoutsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_stoutsBoughtNow * _stoutProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[2].units -= _stoutsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _altDrinkChoice == "Cider">> <<if $beersmap[3].units lt 5>> <<set $cidersBought += $beersmap[3].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[3].units * _ciderProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[3].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _cidersBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $cidersBought += _cidersBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_cidersBoughtNow * _ciderProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[3].units -= _cidersBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _altDrinkChoice == "Vodka">> <<if $drinksmap[2].units lt 5>> <<set $vodkasBought += $drinksmap[2].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[2].units * _vodkaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[2].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _vodkasBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $vodkasBought += _vodkasBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_vodkasBoughtNow * _vodkaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[2].units -= _vodkasBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _altDrinkChoice == "Porter">> <<if $beersmap[$porterpos].units lt 5>> <<set $portersBought += $beersmap[$porterpos].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[$porterpos].units * _porterProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[$porterpos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _portersBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $portersBought += _portersBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_portersBoughtNow * _porterProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[$porterpos].units -= _portersBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _altDrinkChoice == "Tequila">> <<if $drinksmap[$teqpos].units lt 5>> <<set $tequilasBought += $drinksmap[$teqpos].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[$teqpos].units * _tequilaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[$teqpos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _tequilasBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $tequilasBought += _tequilasBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_tequilasBoughtNow * _tequilaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[$teqpos].units -= _tequilasBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _altDrinkChoice == "NoDrink">> <<set $altsLeft += 1>> <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<if _altDrinkChoice != "NoDrink">> <<set _snackBuy to random(1,3)>> <<if _snackBuy == 1>> <<elseif _snackBuy == 2>> <<if _peanutsPrice lte 3>> <<if $snacksmap[0].units lt 3>> <<set $peanutsBought += $snacksmap[0].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[0].units * _peanutsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[0].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _peanutsBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $peanutsBought += _peanutsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_peanutsBoughtNow * _peanutsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[0].units -= _peanutsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <<else>> <<if (_pretzelsPrice lte 3) and ($snacks.includes("Pretzels"))>> <<if $snacksmap[$pretpos].units lt 3>> <<set $pretzelsBought += $snacksmap[$pretpos].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[$pretpos].units * _pretzelsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[$pretpos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _pretzelsBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $pretzelsBought += _pretzelsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_pretzelsBoughtNow * _pretzelsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[$pretpos].units -= _pretzelsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> /* BOUGIE*/ <<elseif _punter == "bougie">> <<set _bougieDrink to []>> <<set _bougieDrinkChoice to "">> <<set $bougiesHere += 1>> <<set _noDrink to 0>> <<if (_taps.includes("IPA")) and (_IPAPrice lte 7) and ($beersmap[$ipapos].units gt 0)>> <<set _bougieDrink.push("IPA")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_houseredPrice lte 7) and ($drinksmap[0].units gt 0)>> <<set _bougieDrink.push("House Red", "House Red")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_housewhitePrice lte 7) and ($drinksmap[1].units gt 0)>> <<set _bougieDrink.push("House White")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_ginPrice lte 7) and ($drinksmap[3].units gt 0)>> <<set _bougieDrink.push("Gin")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if ($drinks.includes("Prosecco")) and (_proseccoPrice lte 7) and ($drinksmap[$propos].units gt 0)>> <<set _bougieDrink.push("Prosecco", "Prosecco")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<set _totalCustomers += 1>> <<if _noDrink gt 0>> <<set _bougieDrink.push("NoDrink")>> <</if>> <<set _bougieDrinkChoice to _bougieDrink.random()>> <<if _bougieDrinkChoice == "IPA">> <<if $beersmap[$ipapos].units lt 5>> <<set $IPAsBought += $beersmap[$ipapos].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[$ipapos].units * _IPAProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[$ipapos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _IPAsBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $IPAsBought += _IPAsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_IPAsBoughtNow * _IPAProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[$ipapos].units -= _IPAsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _bougieDrinkChoice == "House Red">> <<if $drinksmap[0].units lt 5>> <<set $houseredsBought += $drinksmap[0].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[0].units * _houseredProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[0].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _houseredsBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $houseredsBought += _houseredsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_houseredsBoughtNow * _houseredProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[0].units -= _houseredsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _bougieDrinkChoice == "House White">> <<if $drinksmap[1].units lt 5>> <<set $housewhitesBought += $drinksmap[1].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[1].units * _housewhiteProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[1].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _housewhitesBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $housewhitesBought += _housewhitesBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_housewhitesBoughtNow * _housewhiteProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[1].units -= _housewhitesBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _bougieDrinkChoice == "Gin">> <<if $drinksmap[3].units lt 5>> <<set $ginsBought += $drinksmap[3].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[3].units * _ginProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[3].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _ginsBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $ginsBought += _ginsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_ginsBoughtNow * _ginProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[3].units -= _ginsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _bougieDrinkChoice == "Prosecco">> <<if $drinksmap[$propos].units lt 5>> <<set $proseccosBought += $drinksmap[$propos].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[$propos].units * _proseccoProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[$propos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _proseccosBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $proseccosBought += _proseccosBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_proseccosBoughtNow * _proseccoProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[$propos].units -= _proseccosBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _bougieDrinkChoice == "NoDrink">> <<set $bougiesLeft += 1>> <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<if _bougieDrinkChoice != "NoDrink">> <<set _snackBuy to random(1,3)>> <<if _snackBuy == 1>> <<elseif _snackBuy == 2>> <<if _crispsPrice lte 4>> <<if $snacksmap[0].units lt 3>> <<set $crispsBought += $snacksmap[1].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[1].units * _crispsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[1].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _crispsBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $crispsBought += _crispsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_crispsBoughtNow * _crispsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[1].units -= _crispsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <<else>> <<if (_peasPrice lte 4) and ($snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas"))>> <<if $snacksmap[$peapos].units lt 3>> <<set $peasBought += $snacksmap[$peapos].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[$peapos].units * _peasProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[$peapos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _peasBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $peasBought += _peasBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_peasBoughtNow * _peasProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[$peapos].units -= _peasBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <</widget>> <>

<> <<set $hereTonight to $punters.concat($visitors)>> <<set _customers to random(5,15)>> <div id="widgets" class="hidden"> <<for _i = 0; _i < _customers; _i++>> <<customers>> <</for>> </div> <<set $money += $profit>> <<set $profit to 0>> <<if $localsHere == 1>>You had $localsHere local in the pub tonight.<<elseif $localsHere gte 2>>You had $localsHere locals in the pub tonight.<<else>><</if>> <<if $localsLeft gte 1>>$localsLeft of them left without buying anything.<</if>> [[base]] <>

<> /* VARIABLES */ <<set _lagerBase to $beersmap[0].base>> <<set _lagerPrice to $beersmap[0].price>> <<set _lagerProfit to (_lagerPrice - _lagerBase)>> <<set _bitterBase to $beersmap[1].base>> <<set _bitterPrice to $beersmap[1].price>> <<set _bitterProfit to (_bitterPrice - _bitterBase)>> <<set _stoutBase to $beersmap[2].base>> <<set _stoutPrice to $beersmap[2].price>> <<set _stoutProfit to (_stoutPrice - _stoutBase)>> <<set _ciderBase to $beersmap[3].base>> <<set _ciderPrice to $beersmap[3].price>> <<set _ciderProfit to (_ciderPrice - _ciderBase)>> <<set _IPABase to $beersmap[$ipapos].base>> <<set _IPAPrice to $beersmap[$ipapos].price>> <<set _IPAProfit to (_IPAPrice - _IPABase)>> <<set _porterBase to $beersmap[$porterpos].base>> <<set _porterPrice to $beersmap[$porterpos].price>> <<set _porterProfit to (_porterPrice - _porterBase)>> <<set _houseredBase to $drinksmap[0].base>> <<set _houseredPrice to $drinksmap[0].price>> <<set _houseredProfit to (_houseredPrice - _houseredBase)>> <<set _housewhiteBase to $drinksmap[1].base>> <<set _housewhitePrice to $drinksmap[1].price>> <<set _housewhiteProfit to (_housewhitePrice - _housewhiteBase)>> <<set _vodkaBase to $drinksmap[2].base>> <<set _vodkaPrice to $drinksmap[2].price>> <<set _vodkaProfit to (_vodkaPrice - _vodkaBase)>> <<set _ginBase to $drinksmap[3].base>> <<set _ginPrice to $drinksmap[3].price>> <<set _ginProfit to (_ginPrice - _ginBase)>> <<set _whiskyBase to $drinksmap[4].base>> <<set _whiskyPrice to $drinksmap[4].price>> <<set _whiskyProfit to (_whiskyPrice - _whiskyBase)>> <<set _tequilaBase to $drinksmap[$teqpos].base>> <<set _tequilaPrice to $drinksmap[$teqpos].price>> <<set _tequilaProfit to (_tequilaPrice - _tequilaBase)>> <<set _proseccoBase to $drinksmap[$propos].base>> <<set _proseccoPrice to $drinksmap[$propos].price>> <<set _proseccoProfit to (_proseccoPrice - _proseccoBase)>> <<set _peanutsBase to $snacksmap[0].base>> <<set _peanutsPrice to $snacksmap[0].price>> <<set _peanutsProfit to (_peanutsPrice - _peanutsBase)>> <<set _crispsBase to $snacksmap[1].base>> <<set _crispsPrice to $snacksmap[1].price>> <<set _crispsProfit to (_crispsPrice - _crispsBase)>> <<set _scratchingsBase to $snacksmap[2].base>> <<set _scratchingsPrice to $snacksmap[2].price>> <<set _scratchingsProfit to (_scratchingsPrice - _scratchingsBase)>> <<set _pretzelsBase to $snacksmap[$pretpos].base>> <<set _pretzelsPrice to $snacksmap[$pretpos].price>> <<set _pretzelsProfit to (_pretzelsPrice - _pretzelsBase)>> <<set _peasBase to $snacksmap[$peapos].base>> <<set _peasPrice to $snacksmap[$peapos].price>> <<set _peasProfit to (_peasPrice - _peasBase)>> <h2>Menu & Pricing</h2> <h3>Draught Taps</h3> <table> <tr> <th>Tap One</th> <th>Tap Two</th> <th>Tap Three</th> <th>Tap Four</th> </tr> <tr> <td><<cycle "$tapone" autoselect>> <<optionsfrom $beers>> <</cycle>></td> <td><<cycle "$taptwo" autoselect>> <<optionsfrom $beers>> <</cycle>></td> <td><<cycle "$tapthree" autoselect>> <<optionsfrom $beers>> <</cycle>></td> <td><<cycle "$tapfour" autoselect>> <<optionsfrom $beers>> <</cycle>></td> </tr> </table> <h3>Draught Prices</h3> <table> <tr> <th>Name</th> <<if $beers.includes("Lager")>><th>Lager</th><</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Bitter")>><th>Bitter</th><</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Stout")>><th>Stout</th><</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Cider")>><th>Cider</th><</if>> <<if $beers.includes("IPA")>><th>IPA</th><</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Porter")>><th>Porter</th><</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Base</th> <<if $beers.includes("Lager")>> <td> £<<= $beersmap[0].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Bitter")>> <td> £<<= $beersmap[1].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Stout")>> <td> £<<= $beersmap[2].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Cider")>> <td> £<<= $beersmap[3].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("IPA")>> <td> £<<= $beersmap[$ipapos].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Porter")>> <td> £<<= $beersmap[$porterpos].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Price</th> <<if $beers.includes("Lager")>> <td> <<if $beersmap[0].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$beersmap[0].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $beersmap[0].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $beersmap[0].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$beersmap[0].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Bitter")>> <td> <<if $beersmap[1].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$beersmap[1].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $beersmap[1].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $beersmap[1].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$beersmap[1].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Stout")>> <td> <<if $beersmap[2].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$beersmap[2].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $beersmap[2].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $beersmap[2].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$beersmap[2].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Cider")>> <td> <<if $beersmap[3].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$beersmap[3].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $beersmap[3].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $beersmap[3].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$beersmap[3].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("IPA")>> <td> <<if $beersmap[$ipapos].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$beersmap[$ipapos].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $beersmap[$ipapos].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $beersmap[$ipapos].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$beersmap[$ipapos].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Porter")>> <td> <<if $beersmap[$porterpos].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$beersmap[$porterpos].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $beersmap[$porterpos].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $beersmap[$porterpos].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$beersmap[$porterpos].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Profit</th> <<if $beers.includes("Lager")>> <td> £<<= _lagerProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Bitter")>> <td> £<<= _bitterProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Stout")>> <td> £<<= _stoutProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Cider")>> <td> £<<= _ciderProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("IPA")>> <td> £<<= _IPAProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Porter")>> <td> £<<= _porterProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Units</th> <<if $beers.includes("Lager")>> <td> $beersmap[0].units </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Bitter")>> <td> $beersmap[1].units </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Stout")>> <td> $beersmap[2].units </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Cider")>> <td> $beersmap[3].units </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("IPA")>> <td> $beersmap[$ipapos].units </td> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Porter")>> <td> $beersmap[$porterpos].units </td> <</if>> </tr> </table> <h3>Wine & Spirit Prices</h3> <table> <tr> <th>Name</th> <<if $drinks.includes("House Red")>><th>House Red</th><</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("House White")>><th>House White</th><</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Vodka")>><th>Vodka</th><</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Gin")>><th>Gin</th><</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Whisky")>><th>Whisky</th><</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Tequila")>><th>Tequila</th><</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Prosecco")>><th>Prosecco</th><</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Base</th> <<if $drinks.includes("House Red")>> <td> £<<= $drinksmap[0].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("House White")>> <td> £<<= $drinksmap[1].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Vodka")>> <td> £<<= $drinksmap[2].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Gin")>> <td> £<<= $drinksmap[3].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Whisky")>> <td> £<<= $drinksmap[4].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Tequila")>> <td> £<<= $drinksmap[$teqpos].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Prosecco")>> <td> £<<= $drinksmap[$propos].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Price</th> <<if $drinks.includes("House Red")>> <td> <<if $drinksmap[0].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$drinksmap[0].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $drinksmap[0].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $drinksmap[0].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$drinksmap[0].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("House White")>> <td> <<if $drinksmap[1].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$drinksmap[1].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $drinksmap[1].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $drinksmap[1].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$drinksmap[1].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Vodka")>> <td> <<if $drinksmap[2].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$drinksmap[2].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $drinksmap[2].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $drinksmap[2].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$drinksmap[2].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Gin")>> <td> <<if $drinksmap[3].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$drinksmap[3].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $drinksmap[3].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $drinksmap[3].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$drinksmap[3].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Whisky")>> <td> <<if $drinksmap[4].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$drinksmap[4].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $drinksmap[4].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $drinksmap[4].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$drinksmap[4].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Tequila")>> <td> <<if $drinksmap[$teqpos].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$drinksmap[$teqpos].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $drinksmap[$teqpos].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $drinksmap[$teqpos].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$drinksmap[$teqpos].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Prosecco")>> <td> <<if $drinksmap[$propos].price gt 3.5>>[[-|prices][$drinksmap[$propos].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $drinksmap[$propos].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $drinksmap[$propos].price lt 7>>[[+|prices][$drinksmap[$propos].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Profit</th> <<if $drinks.includes("House Red")>> <td> £<<= _houseredProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("House White")>> <td> £<<= _housewhiteProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Vodka")>> <td> £<<= _vodkaProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Gin")>> <td> £<<= _ginProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Whisky")>> <td> £<<= _whiskyProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Tequila")>> <td> £<<= _tequilaProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Prosecco")>> <td> £<<= _proseccoProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Units</th> <<if $drinks.includes("House Red")>> <td> $drinksmap[0].units </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("House White")>> <td> $drinksmap[1].units </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Vodka")>> <td> $drinksmap[2].units </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Gin")>> <td> $drinksmap[3].units </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Whisky")>> <td> $drinksmap[4].units </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Tequila")>> <td> $drinksmap[$teqpos].units </td> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Prosecco")>> <td> $drinksmap[$propos].units </td> <</if>> </tr> </table> <h3>Bar Snacks</h3> <table> <tr> <th>Name</th> <<if $snacks.includes("Peanuts")>><th>Peanuts</th><</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Crisps")>><th>Crisps</th><</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pork Scratchings")>><th>Pork Scratchings</th><</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pretzels")>><th>Pretzels</th><</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas")>><th>Wasabi Peas</th><</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Base</th> <<if $snacks.includes("Peanuts")>> <td> £<<= $snacksmap[0].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Crisps")>> <td> £<<= $snacksmap[1].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pork Scratchings")>> <td> £<<= $snacksmap[2].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pretzels")>> <td> £<<= $snacksmap[$pretpos].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas")>> <td> £<<= $snacksmap[$peapos].base.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Price</th> <<if $snacks.includes("Peanuts")>> <td> <<if $snacksmap[0].price gt 1>>[[-|prices][$snacksmap[0].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $snacksmap[0].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $snacksmap[0].price lt 4>>[[+|prices][$snacksmap[0].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Crisps")>> <td> <<if $snacksmap[1].price gt 1>>[[-|prices][$snacksmap[1].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $snacksmap[1].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $snacksmap[1].price lt 4>>[[+|prices][$snacksmap[1].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pork Scratchings")>> <td> <<if $snacksmap[2].price gt 1>>[[-|prices][$snacksmap[2].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $snacksmap[2].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $snacksmap[2].price lt 4>>[[+|prices][$snacksmap[2].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pretzels")>> <td> <<if $snacksmap[$pretpos].price gt 1>>[[-|prices][$snacksmap[$pretpos].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $snacksmap[$pretpos].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $snacksmap[$pretpos].price lt 4>>[[+|prices][$snacksmap[$pretpos].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas")>> <td> <<if $snacksmap[$peapos].price gt 1>>[[-|prices][$snacksmap[$peapos].price -= 0.25]] <<else>>-<</if>> £<<= $snacksmap[$peapos].price.toFixed(2)>> <<if $snacksmap[$peapos].price lt 4>>[[+|prices][$snacksmap[$peapos].price += 0.25]] <<else>>+<</if>> </td> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Profit</th> <<if $snacks.includes("Peanuts")>> <td> £<<= _peanutsProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Crisps")>> <td> £<<= _crispsProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pork Scratchings")>> <td> £<<= _scratchingsProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pretzels")>> <td> £<<= _pretzelsProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas")>> <td> £<<= _peasProfit.toFixed(2)>> </td> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <th>Units</th> <<if $snacks.includes("Peanuts")>> <td> $snacksmap[0].units </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Crisps")>> <td> $snacksmap[1].units </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pork Scratchings")>> <td> $snacksmap[2].units </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Pretzels")>> <td> $snacksmap[$pretpos].units </td> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas")>> <td> $snacksmap[$peapos].units </td> <</if>> </tr> </table> <>

<> <<set _beerPriceTotal to 0>> <<set _drinkPriceTotal to 0>> <<set _avPrice to 0>> <<set _PMtip to random(1,3)>> <h2>Welcome To Your PubMaster™ Dashboard, $pcname!</h2> New to the app? Take the [[PubMaster™ Virtual Tour|tour]]! <h4>Here's what people are saying about $pubname:</h4> <<for _i, _currentBeers range $beersmap>> <<set _beerPriceTotal += _currentBeers.price>> <</for>> <<for _i, _currentDrinks range $drinksmap>> <<set _drinkPriceTotal += _currentDrinks.price>> <</for>> <<set _avPrice to ((_drinkPriceTotal + _beerPriceTotal) / ($drinksmap.length + $beersmap.length))>> <<if _avPrice lte 5>> “Cheap drinks!” <<elseif _avPrice gt 6>> “Eye-wateringly expensive” <<else>> “Decently priced pints” <</if>> <<multi $renovated>>“A really disgusting building”|“Not as rank as it used to be”|“Not actively an eyesore these days”|“Fairly nice-looking place”|“A really gorgeous pub!”|BUG<</multi>> PubMaster™ Tips: <<if _PMtip == 1>> If people are leaving your establishment without buying anything, it might be because you don’t stock their favourite beverage (or you do, and it’s too expensive!) <<elseif _PMtip == 2>> People like to drink in nice surroundings. A well-decorated pub will attract more custom! <<else>> Students expect cheaper drinks, but they also have a tendancy to buy more of them! <</if>> <>

<> <h2>Current Stock [[(New Stock)|newstock]]</h2> <h3>Current Draught</h3> <table> <tr> <th>Drink</th> <th>Name</th> <th>%</th> <th>Notes</th> <th>Stock</th> <th>Buy (100 units)</th> </tr> <tr> <td>$beersmap[0].name</td> <td>$beersmap[0].brand</td> <td>$beersmap[0].percent</td> <td>$beersmap[0].notes</td> <td>$beersmap[0].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 200>>[[£200|brewery][$beersmap[0].units += 100; $money -= 200]]<<else>>£200<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>$beersmap[1].name</td> <td>$beersmap[1].brand</td> <td>$beersmap[1].percent</td> <td>$beersmap[1].notes</td> <td>$beersmap[1].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 200>>[[£200|brewery][$beersmap[1].units += 100; $money -= 200]]<<else>>£200<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>$beersmap[2].name</td> <td>$beersmap[2].brand</td> <td>$beersmap[2].percent</td> <td>$beersmap[2].notes</td> <td>$beersmap[2].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 250>>[[£250|brewery][$beersmap[2].units += 100; $money -= 250]]<<else>>£250<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>$beersmap[3].name</td> <td>$beersmap[3].brand</td> <td>$beersmap[3].percent</td> <td>$beersmap[3].notes</td> <td>$beersmap[3].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 250>>[[£250|brewery][$beersmap[3].units += 100; $money -= 250]]<<else>>£250<</if>></td> </tr> <<if $beers.includes("IPA")>> <tr> <td>$beersmap[$ipapos].name</td> <td>$beersmap[$ipapos].brand</td> <td>$beersmap[$ipapos].percent</td> <td>$beersmap[$ipapos].notes</td> <td>$beersmap[$ipapos].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 300>>[[£300|brewery][$beersmap[$ipapos].units += 100; $money -= 300]]<<else>>£300<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Porter")>> <tr> <td>$beersmap[$porterpos].name</td> <td>$beersmap[$porterpos].brand</td> <td>$beersmap[$porterpos].percent</td> <td>$beersmap[$porterpos].notes</td> <td>$beersmap[$porterpos].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 300>>[[£300|brewery][$beersmap[$porterpos].units += 100; $money -= 300]]<<else>>£300<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> </table> <h3>Current Wines & Spirits</h3> <table> <tr> <th>Drink</th> <th>Name</th> <th>%</th> <th>Notes</th> <th>Stock</th> <th>Buy (50 units)</th> </tr> <tr> <td>$drinksmap[0].name</td> <td>$drinksmap[0].brand</td> <td>$drinksmap[0].percent</td> <td>$drinksmap[0].notes</td> <td>$drinksmap[0].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 100>>[[£100|brewery][$drinksmap[0].units += 50; $money -= 100]]<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>$drinksmap[1].name</td> <td>$drinksmap[1].brand</td> <td>$drinksmap[1].percent</td> <td>$drinksmap[1].notes</td> <td>$drinksmap[1].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 100>>[[£100|brewery][$drinksmap[1].units += 50; $money -= 100]]<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>$drinksmap[2].name</td> <td>$drinksmap[2].brand</td> <td>$drinksmap[2].percent</td> <td>$drinksmap[2].notes</td> <td>$drinksmap[2].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 125>>[[£125|brewery][$drinksmap[2].units += 50; $money -= 125]]<<else>>£125<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>$drinksmap[3].name</td> <td>$drinksmap[3].brand</td> <td>$drinksmap[3].percent</td> <td>$drinksmap[3].notes</td> <td>$drinksmap[3].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 125>>[[£125|brewery][$drinksmap[3].units += 50; $money -= 125]]<<else>>£125<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>$drinksmap[4].name</td> <td>$drinksmap[4].brand</td> <td>$drinksmap[4].percent</td> <td>$drinksmap[4].notes</td> <td>$drinksmap[4].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 125>>[[£125|brewery][$drinksmap[4].units += 50; $money -= 125]]<<else>>£125<</if>></td> </tr> <<if $drinks.includes("Tequila")>> <tr> <td>$drinksmap[$teqpos].name</td> <td>$drinksmap[$teqpos].brand</td> <td>$drinksmap[$teqpos].percent</td> <td>$drinksmap[$teqpos].notes</td> <td>$drinksmap[$teqpos].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 150>>[[£150|brewery][$drinksmap[$teqpos].units += 50; $money -= 150]]<<else>>£150<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Prosecco")>> <tr> <td>$drinksmap[$propos].name</td> <td>$drinksmap[$propos].brand</td> <td>$drinksmap[$propos].percent</td> <td>$drinksmap[$propos].notes</td> <td>$drinksmap[$propos].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 150>>[[£150|brewery][$drinksmap[$propos].units += 50; $money -= 150]]<<else>>£150<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> </table> <h3>Current Bar Snacks</h3> <table> <tr> <th>Name</th> <th>Notes</th> <th>Stock</th> <th>Buy (100 units)</th> </tr> <tr> <td>$snacksmap[0].name</td> <td>$snacksmap[0].notes</td> <td>$snacksmap[0].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 50>>[[£50|brewery][$snacksmap[0].units += 100; $money -= 50]]<<else>>£50<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>$snacksmap[1].name</td> <td>$snacksmap[1].notes</td> <td>$snacksmap[1].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 50>>[[£50|brewery][$snacksmap[1].units += 100; $money -= 50]]<<else>>£50<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>$snacksmap[2].name</td> <td>$snacksmap[2].notes</td> <td>$snacksmap[2].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 50>>[[£50|brewery][$snacksmap[2].units += 100; $money -= 50]]<<else>>£50<</if>></td> </tr> <<if $snacks.includes("Pretzels")>> <tr> <td>$snacksmap[$pretpos].name</td> <td>$snacksmap[$pretpos].notes</td> <td>$snacksmap[$pretpos].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 100>>[[£100|brewery][$snacksmap[$pretpos].units += 100; $money -= 100]]<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas")>> <tr> <td>$snacksmap[$peapos].name</td> <td>$snacksmap[$peapos].notes</td> <td>$snacksmap[$peapos].units</td> <td><<if $money gte 100>>[[£100|brewery][$snacksmap[$peapos].units += 100; $money -= 100]]<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <</if>> </table> <>

<> <h1>Last Orders</h1> a pub simulator by Lauren O'Donoghue [[Credits|credits]] [[New Game|intro1]] <>

<> <h2>Credits</h2> Credits go here [[Back|title]] <>

<> You’d both thought it was a joke, when the solicitor told you. One last bad-taste jibe from the father neither of you had seen in years. But then you were shown the will, and realised with dawning horror that it wasn’t a joke at all. He’d left the pub to you—both of you—with the express instruction that you take it over and run it yourselves, just as he had for the last forty years. You and Hazel grew up in The Stuck Pig; sleeping in the flat above it, kicking a football around the beer garden, eating crisps in the parlour. As soon as you were old enough to leave, you had. Your sister, too. You thanked the solicitor for letting you know, and told him you’d be in touch when the news had sunk in. ‘We’re selling it, right?’ Hazel said as soon as you left the office. [[‘We’re obviously selling it.’|intro3]] <>

<> Wishful thinking, that it would be that easy. Over the next couple of months your hopes of getting rid of the place, ideally without ever having to go there yourselves, were dashed. An estate agent came to value the pub, and the quote she gave wasn’t promising. A couple of brewery chains expressed interest, but disappeared once their reps had visited in person. You can understand why. The Stuck Pig was shabby when you lived there, and has apparently only deteriorated since. You received a series of disheartening emails from potential buyers full of phrases like ‘structural damage’ and ‘bad plumbing’ and ‘weird smell’. Who’d want it? You certainly don’t. And so, reluctantly, you and Hazel made a deal. You’d both take a break from work. Move back into the pub. Try your best to do it up, drum up some custom, make it a viable business. Then—once it was worth something—you’d sell up. Take the money and never think about the place again. [[Six weeks, you agreed. Six weeks.|intro4]] <>

<> The day before you moved back to The Stuck Pig, Hazel—never the most trusting of people—gave you an agreement to sign. You aren’t sure how legally binding it is, given that it was written in Biro on the back of a Starbucks receipt, but you’ve learned it’s best to humour her. I, the undersigned, promise to: <li>Work in the pub five nights a week (Wed-Sun) with my legend of a sister</li> <li>Try and make the pub profitable in six weeks so we can sell it for a million quid and go on holiday</li> <li>Not run the place into the ground so we end up bankrupt/destitute/in even deeper shit</li> <li>Keep my sister entertained, happy and sufficiently caffeinated at all times</li> If I fail to achieve these goals I consent to retribution in whatever form deemed appropriate by my aforementioned legend of a sister Signed: <<textbox "$pcname" "Rowan">> You [[signed it|intro5]], of course. <>

<<fair_plus "$pubrep" +5>> <<fair_plus "$handy" +10>> storylets list: $storylets <<set $visitors.push("student")>> <<storylets>> storylets list: [[start]]

<> <<widget "storylets">> <<set _possSL to []>> <<set $hereTonight to $punters.concat($visitors)>> /* HIGH PRIORITY */ <<if ($dotw == 3) and ($actBooked == "Wednesday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <</if>> <<if ($dotw == 4) and ($actBooked == "Thursday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <</if>> <<if ($dotw == 5) and ($actBooked == "Friday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <</if>> <<if ($dotw == 6) and ($actBooked == "Saturday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <</if>> <<if ($dotw == 7) and ($actBooked == "Sunday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <</if>> <<if ($entertainment is true) and (_bookedNow is true)>> <<if ($entstorylets.includes("quiz1")) and ($act == 0)>> <<set _possSL.push("quiz1")>> <</if>> <<if ($entstorylets.includes("comedy1")) and ($act == 1)>> <<set _possSL.push("comedy1")>> <</if>> <<if ($entstorylets.includes("karaoke1")) and ($act == 2)>> <<set _possSL.push("karaoke1")>> <</if>> <<if ($entstorylets.includes("drag1")) and ($act == 3)>> <<set _possSL.push("drag1")>> <</if>> <<if ($entstorylets.includes("rock1")) and ($act == 4)>> <<set _possSL.push("rock1")>> <</if>> <<if ($entstorylets.includes("folk1")) and ($act == 5)>> <<set _possSL.push("folk1")>> <</if>> <<if ($entstorylets.includes("wine1")) and ($act == 6)>> <<set _possSL.push("wine1")>> <</if>> <<if ($entstorylets.includes("supper1")) and ($act == 7)>> <<set _possSL.push("supper1")>> <</if>> <</if>> /* CHECK IF ENTERTAINMENT STORYLET */ <<if _possSL.length gt 1>> BUG <<elseif _possSL.length == 1>> <<run _possSL.shuffle()>> <<set _pickedSL to _possSL[0]>> You switch on the lights, wipe down the tables, and take a breath before unlocking the pub door. <<link "Time to start the shift…" _pickedSL>><</link>> /* REP VISIT */ <<elseif ($pubrep gte 60) and ($storylets.includes("chainrep1"))>> <<set _possSL.push("chainrep1")>> <<if _possSL.length gt 1>> BUG <<elseif _possSL.length == 1>> <<run _possSL.shuffle()>> <<set _pickedSL to _possSL[0]>> You switch on the lights, wipe down the tables, and take a breath before unlocking the pub door. <<link "Time to start the shift…" _pickedSL>><</link>> <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<else>> /* BEER LOST */ <<if $storylets.includes("beerlost")>> <<set _taps to []>> <<set _taps.push($tapone)>> <<set _taps.push($taptwo)>> <<set _taps.push($tapthree)>> <<set _taps.push($tapfour)>> <<if (_taps.includes("Lager")) and ($beersmap[0].units gte 100)>> <<set $beerlost to 0>> <<elseif (_taps.includes("Bitter")) and ($beersmap[1].units gte 100)>> <<set $beerlost to 1>> <<elseif (_taps.includes("Stout")) and ($beersmap[2].units gte 100)>> <<set $beerlost to 2>> <<elseif (_taps.includes("Cider")) and ($beersmap[3].units gte 100)>> <<set $beerlost to 3>> <<elseif (_taps.includes("IPA")) and ($beersmap[$ipapos].units gte 100)>> <<set $beerlost to $ipapos>> <<elseif (_taps.includes("Porter")) and ($beersmap[$porterpos].units gte 100)>> <<set $beerlost to $porterpos>> <<else>> <</if>> <<set _possSL.push("beerlost")>> <</if>> /* DRUNK STUDENT */ <<if ($hereTonight.includes("student")) and ($storylets.includes("drunkstudent"))>> <<set _possSL.push("drunkstudent")>> <</if>> /* TASTING NOTES */ <<if ($hereTonight.includes("hipster")) and ($storylets.includes("tastingnotes"))>> <<set _possSL.push("tastingnotes")>> <</if>> /* HAZEL ARGUMENT */ <<if $storylets.includes("hazarg")>> <<set _possSL.push("hazarg")>> <</if>> /* BURST PIPE */ <<if $storylets.includes("burstpipe")>> <<set _possSL.push("burstpipe")>> <</if>> /* BROKEN GLASS */ <<if $storylets.includes("brokenglass")>> <<set _possSL.push("brokenglass")>> <</if>> /* BAR FIGHT */ <<if $storylets.includes("barfight")>> <<set _possSL.push("barfight")>> <</if>> /* DISCUSSION */ <<if $storylets.includes("discussion")>> <<set _possSL.push("discussion")>> <</if>> /* SLIP */ <<if $storylets.includes("slip")>> <<set _possSL.push("slip")>> <</if>> /* SHIRL1 */ <<if $storylets.includes("shirl1")>> <<set _possSL.push("shirl1")>> <</if>> /* ALEX1 */ <<if $storylets.includes("alex1")>> <<set _possSL.push("alex1")>> <</if>> /* RAVI1 */ <<if $storylets.includes("ravi1")>> <<set _possSL.push("ravi1")>> <</if>> /* NO STORYLETS FALLBACK */ <<if _possSL.length == 0>> <<set _possSL.push("failsafe")>> <</if>> /* SELECT STORYLET */ <<run _possSL.shuffle()>> <<set _pickedSL to _possSL[0]>> You switch on the lights, wipe down the tables, and take a breath before unlocking the pub door. <<link "Time to start the shift…" _pickedSL>><</link>> <</if>> <</widget>> <>

ADD DRUNKSTUDENT BACK TO LAUNCH STORYLETS <<run $storylets.delete("drunkstudent")>> drunk student storylet [[start]]

<<run $storylets.delete("chainrep1")>> /* <<set $storylets.push("chainrep2")>> */ chain rep 1 [[endnight]]

<> <<set $talk to 0>> <<run $storylets.delete("hazarg")>> /* <<set $storylets.push("discussion")>> */ It’s a relatively quiet night, as these things go. No big groups, no one being rowdy. You’re checking something in the back office, and starting to think the night might pass without incident—having that thought alone was probably tempting fate—when you become aware of raised voices from the bar. Coming out to the parlour to see what the problem is, you find Hazel and Murphy glaring at each other over the taps. Your sister’s hands are balled into fists, which you know from experience means she’s on the warpath. Murphy is managing to convey a deep level of passive aggression through the simple act of sipping his drink. Pretty impressive, actually. Oscar-worthy stuff. ‘I’m just saying,’ Murphy mutters, ‘that’s the way your old man always did it.’ ‘And I’m not my old man,’ Hazel snaps. ‘We’re doing things differently now. Alright?’ [[Ask them what’s going on.|hazarg2][$talk to 1]] [[Stay quiet.|hazarg2][$talk to 2]] <>

<<run $storylets.delete("burstpipe")>> Burst pipe [[endnight]]

<<set $pies to ["cherry", "apple", "blueberry"]>> <<set $cakes to ["lemon", "chocolate"]>> Pies: $pies Cakes: $cakes <<set _flavour to $pies.pluck()>> <<set $cakes.push(_flavour)>> <<set $flavours to $pies.concat($cakes)>> Flavours: $flavours Pies: $pies Cakes: $cakes <<run $cakes.delete("lemon")>> $cakes

<> It’s a quiet shift tonight. Not much going on. Boring, in fact. Perhaps you should try and bring in some different customers soon. Book an event, do some advertising. Shake things up a bit. [[endnight]] <>

<> book entertainment <<if $entertainment is true>> You already have a booking in the calendar. Come back once that's done. <<else>> Book entertainment for <<cycle "$actBooked" autoselect>> <<optionsfrom $actDays>> <</cycle>> [[book drag|bookingtest][$entertainment to true; $act to 4]] <</if>> [[start]] <>

<> /* RUN CUSTOMER CHECKS */ <<if ($dotw == 3) and ($actBooked == "Wednesday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <<elseif ($dotw == 4) and ($actBooked == "Thursday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <<elseif ($dotw == 5) and ($actBooked == "Friday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <<elseif ($dotw == 6) and ($actBooked == "Saturday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <<elseif ($dotw == 7) and ($actBooked == "Sunday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <<else>> <<set _bookedNow to false>> <</if>> <<if ($entertainment is true) and (_bookedNow is true)>> <<set $hereTonight to $punters.concat($visitors)>> <<set _repNow to ($pubrep + $temprep)>> <<else>> <<set $hereTonight to $punters>> <<set _repNow to $pubrep>> <</if>> <<if _repNow lte 19>> <<set _customers to random(5,15)>> <<elseif (_repNow gte 20) and (_repNow lte 39)>> <<set _customers to random(15,25)>> <<elseif (_repNow gte 40) and (_repNow lte 59)>> <<set _customers to random(25,35)>> <<elseif (_repNow gte 60) and (_repNow lte 79)>> <<set _customers to random(35,45)>> <<else>> <<set _customers to random(45,55)>> <</if>> /* RUN SALES */ <div id="customers" class="hidden"> <<for _i = 0; _i < _customers; _i++>> <<customers>> <</for>> </div> /* PRICE POINTS */ <<set _lagerPrice to $beersmap[0].price>> <<set _lagerBase to $beersmap[0].base>> <<set _lagerProfit to (_lagerPrice - _lagerBase)>> <<set _bitterPrice to $beersmap[1].price>> <<set _bitterBase to $beersmap[1].base>> <<set _bitterProfit to (_bitterPrice - _bitterBase)>> <<set _stoutPrice to $beersmap[2].price>> <<set _stoutBase to $beersmap[2].base>> <<set _stoutProfit to (_stoutPrice - _stoutBase)>> <<set _ciderPrice to $beersmap[3].price>> <<set _ciderBase to $beersmap[3].base>> <<set _ciderProfit to (_ciderPrice - _ciderBase)>> <<set _IPAPrice to $beersmap[$ipapos].price>> <<set _IPABase to $beersmap[$ipapos].base>> <<set _IPAProfit to (_IPAPrice - _IPABase)>> <<set _porterPrice to $beersmap[$porterpos].price>> <<set _porterBase to $beersmap[$porterpos].base>> <<set _porterProfit to (_porterPrice - _porterBase)>> <<set _houseredPrice to $drinksmap[0].price>> <<set _houseredBase to $drinksmap[0].base>> <<set _houseredProfit to (_houseredPrice - _houseredBase)>> <<set _housewhitePrice to $drinksmap[1].price>> <<set _housewhiteBase to $drinksmap[1].base>> <<set _housewhiteProfit to (_housewhitePrice - _housewhiteBase)>> <<set _vodkaPrice to $drinksmap[2].price>> <<set _vodkaBase to $drinksmap[2].base>> <<set _vodkaProfit to (_vodkaPrice - _vodkaBase)>> <<set _ginPrice to $drinksmap[3].price>> <<set _ginBase to $drinksmap[3].base>> <<set _ginProfit to (_ginPrice - _ginBase)>> <<set _whiskyPrice to $drinksmap[4].price>> <<set _whiskyBase to $drinksmap[4].base>> <<set _whiskyProfit to (_whiskyPrice - _whiskyBase)>> <<set _tequilaPrice to $drinksmap[$teqpos].price>> <<set _tequilaBase to $drinksmap[$teqpos].base>> <<set _tequilaProfit to (_tequilaPrice - _tequilaBase)>> <<set _proseccoPrice to $drinksmap[$propos].price>> <<set _proseccoBase to $drinksmap[$propos].base>> <<set _proseccoProfit to (_proseccoPrice - _proseccoBase)>> <<set _peanutsPrice to $snacksmap[0].price>> <<set _peanutsBase to $snacksmap[0].base>> <<set _peanutsProfit to (_peanutsPrice - _peanutsBase)>> <<set _crispsPrice to $snacksmap[1].price>> <<set _crispsBase to $snacksmap[1].base>> <<set _crispsProfit to (_crispsPrice - _crispsBase)>> <<set _scratchingsPrice to $snacksmap[2].price>> <<set _scratchingsBase to $snacksmap[2].base>> <<set _scratchingsProfit to (_scratchingsPrice - _scratchingsBase)>> <<set _pretzelsPrice to $snacksmap[$pretpos].price>> <<set _pretzelsBase to $snacksmap[$pretpos].base>> <<set _pretzelsProfit to (_pretzelsPrice - _pretzelsBase)>> <<set _peasPrice to $snacksmap[$peapos].price>> <<set _peasBase to $snacksmap[$peapos].base>> <<set _peasProfit to (_peasPrice - _peasBase)>> <h3>Shift Report <<if ($week == 1) and ($dotw == 7)>>[[(Close)|enddemo]]<<else>> [[(Close)|base]]<</if>> </h3> <<set _totalCustomers to (_customers -= ($localsLeft + $studentsLeft + $hipstersLeft + $altsLeft + $bougiesLeft))>> <<if ($entertainment is true) and (_bookedNow is true)>> <<set _ticketSales to (_totalCustomers * $entacts[0].ticket)>> <<set $profit += _ticketSales>> <</if>> <h4><<click "Customers (Click to Expand)">><<toggleclass "#intonight" "hidden">><</click>></h4> <div id="intonight" class="hidden"> <table> <tr> <th>Type</th> <th>Came In</th> <th>Left Without Buying</th> </tr> <tr> <td>Local</td> <td>$localsHere</td> <td>$localsLeft</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Student</td> <td>$studentsHere</td> <td>$studentsLeft</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Alternative</td> <td>$altsHere</td> <td>$altsLeft</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Hipster</td> <td>$hipstersHere</td> <td>$hipstersLeft</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Bougie</td> <td>$bougiesHere</td> <td>$bougiesLeft</td> </tr> </table> </div> <h4><<click "Draught Sold (Click to Expand)">><<toggleclass "#draught" "hidden">><</click>></h4> <div id="draught" class="hidden"> <table> <tr> <th>Drink</th> <th>Sold</th> <th>Profit</th> <th>Units Left</th> </tr> <tr> <td>Lager</td> <td>$lagersBought</td> <td>£<<= ($lagersBought * _lagerProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$beersmap[0].units</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Bitter</td> <td>$bittersBought</td> <td>£<<= ($bittersBought * _bitterProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$beersmap[1].units</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Stout</td> <td>$stoutsBought</td> <td>£<<= ($stoutsBought * _stoutProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$beersmap[2].units</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Cider</td> <td>$cidersBought</td> <td>£<<= ($cidersBought * _ciderProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$beersmap[3].units</td> </tr> <<if $beers.includes("IPA")>> <tr> <td>IPA</td> <td>$IPAsBought</td> <td>£<<= ($IPAsBought * _IPAProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$beersmap[$ipapos].units</td> </tr> <</if>> <<if $beers.includes("Porter")>> <tr> <td>Porter</td> <td>$portersBought</td> <td>£<<= ($portersBought * _porterProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$beersmap[$porterpos].units</td> </tr> <</if>> </table> </div> <h4><<click "Wines & Spirits Sold (Click to Expand)">><<toggleclass "#wines" "hidden">><</click>></h4> <div id="wines" class="hidden"> <table> <tr> <th>Drink</th> <th>Sold</th> <th>Profit</th> <th>Units Left</th> </tr> <tr> <td>House Red</td> <td>$houseredsBought</td> <td>£<<= ($houseredsBought * _houseredProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$drinksmap[0].units</td> </tr> <tr> <td>House White</td> <td>$housewhitesBought</td> <td>£<<= ($housewhitesBought * _housewhiteProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$drinksmap[1].units</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Vodka</td> <td>$vodkasBought</td> <td>£<<= ($vodkasBought * _vodkaProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$drinksmap[2].units</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Gin</td> <td>$ginsBought</td> <td>£<<= ($ginsBought * _ginProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$drinksmap[3].units</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Whisky</td> <td>$whiskysBought</td> <td>£<<= ($whiskysBought * _whiskyProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$drinksmap[4].units</td> </tr> <<if $drinks.includes("Tequila")>> <tr> <td>Tequila</td> <td>$tequilasBought</td> <td>£<<= ($tequilasBought * _tequilaProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$drinksmap[$teqpos].units</td> </tr> <</if>> <<if $drinks.includes("Prosecco")>> <tr> <td>Prosecco</td> <td>$proseccosBought</td> <td>£<<= ($proseccosBought * _proseccoProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$drinksmap[$propos].units</td> </tr> <</if>> </table> </div> <h4><<click "Snacks Sold (Click to Expand)">><<toggleclass "#snacks" "hidden">><</click>></h4> <div id="snacks" class="hidden"> <table> <tr> <th>Snack</th> <th>Sold</th> <th>Profit</th> <th>Units Left</th> </tr> <tr> <td>Peanuts</td> <td>$peanutsBought</td> <td>£<<= ($peanutsBought * _peanutsProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$snacksmap[0].units</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Crisps</td> <td>$crispsBought</td> <td>£<<= ($crispsBought * _crispsProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$snacksmap[1].units</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Pork Scratchings</td> <td>$scratchingsBought</td> <td>£<<= ($scratchingsBought * _scratchingsProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$snacksmap[2].units</td> </tr> <<if $snacks.includes("Pretzels")>> <tr> <td>Pretzels</td> <td>$pretzelsBought</td> <td>£<<= ($pretzelsBought * _pretzelsProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$snacksmap[$pretpos].units</td> </tr> <</if>> <<if $snacks.includes("Wasabi Peas")>> <tr> <td>Wasabi Peas</td> <td>$peasBought</td> <td>£<<= ($peasBought * _peasProfit).toFixed(2)>></td> <td>$snacksmap[$peapos].units</td> </tr> <</if>> </table> </div> <<if ($entertainment is true) and (_bookedNow is true)>> <table> <th>$entacts[$act].name Ticket Sales</th> <td>£<<= _ticketSales.toFixed(2)>></td> </table> <</if>> <table> <th>Total Profit</th> <td>£<<= $profit.toFixed(2)>></td> </table> <<set $money += $profit>> /* FINAL RESETS */ <<if ($entertainment is true) and (_bookedNow is true)>> <<set $visitors to []>> <<set $entertainment to false>> <<set $act to 0>> <<set $temprep to 0>> <</if>> <<if $dotw != 7>> <<set $dotw +=1>> <<else>> <<set $dotw to 1>> <<set $week +=1>> <<set $radiobooked to false>> <</if>> <<set $time to 1>> <<set $profit to 0>> <<set $hereTonight to []>> <<set $localsHere to 0>> <<set $studentsHere to 0>> <<set $altsHere to 0>> <<set $hipstersHere to 0>> <<set $bougiesHere to 0>> <<set $localsLeft to 0>> <<set $studentsLeft to 0>> <<set $altsLeft to 0>> <<set $hipstersLeft to 0>> <<set $bougiesLeft to 0>> <<set $lagersBought to 0>> <<set $bittersBought to 0>> <<set $stoutsBought to 0>> <<set $cidersBought to 0>> <<set $IPAsBought to 0>> <<set $portersBought to 0>> <<set $houseredsBought to 0>> <<set $housewhitesBought to 0>> <<set $vodkasBought to 0>> <<set $ginsBought to 0>> <<set $whiskysBought to 0>> <<set $tequilasBought to 0>> <<set $proseccosBought to 0>> <<set $peanutsBought to 0>> <<set $crispsBought to 0>> <<set $scratchingsBought to 0>> <<set $pretzelsBought to 0>> <<set $peasBought to 0>> <>

<> <<set $talk to 0>> <<run $storylets.delete("beerlost")>> /* <<set $storylets.push("burstpipe")>> */ It’s halfway through the night when Hazel announces that she’s going down to the cellar to change one of the barrels. You mind the bar while she descends the stairs, idly scrolling social media between customers. Your feed is mostly updates from the friends you left behind when you moved back here, and you soon opt to put your phone away and stare blanky into space instead. A few minutes later there’s a loud crash from somewhere underneath you, and a screech that you recognise as coming from your sister. ‘Shit!’ you hear Hazel yell. ‘Shitshitshitshitshit.’ ‘You’d better go see to that,’ Murphy says, unhelpfully, nodding towards the cellar steps. [[‘Oh, should I? D’you think?’|beerlost2][$talk to 1]] [[‘I’m going now!’|beerlost2][$talk to 2]] <>

<<run $storylets.delete("barfight")>> bar fight [[endnight]]

<<run $storylets.delete("brokenglass")>> broken glass [[endnight]]

ADD TASTINGNOTES BACK TO LAUNCH STORYLETS <<run $storylets.delete("tastingnotes")>> tastingnotes [[endnight]]

<> <h2>Entertainment</h2> <<if $entertainment is true>> You can only have one act booked at a time. You can book again after $actBooked. <<else>> Currently booking for <<cycle "$actBooked" autoselect>><<optionsfrom $actDays>><</cycle>> night <</if>> <table> <tr> <th>Act</th> <th>Description</th> <th>Ticket Price</th> <<if $entertainment is false>><th>Book</th><</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[0].name</td> <td>$entacts[0].description</td> <td>£$entacts[0].ticket</td> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 50)>><td>[[Book for £50|entbooking][$money -= 50; $act to 0; $visitors.push("hipster"); $temprep += 5; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £50</td><</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[1].name</td> <td>$entacts[1].description</td> <td>£$entacts[1].ticket</td> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 100)>><td>[[Book for £100|entbooking][$money -= 100; $act to 1; $visitors.push("local"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £100</td><</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[2].name</td> <td>$entacts[2].description</td> <td>£$entacts[2].ticket</td> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 100)>><td>[[Book for £100|entbooking][$money -= 100; $act to 2; $visitors.push("student"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £100</td><</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[3].name</td> <td>$entacts[3].description</td> <td>£$entacts[3].ticket</td> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 150)>><td>[[Book for £150|entbooking][$money -= 150; $act to 3; $visitors.push("alt"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £150</td><</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[4].name</td> <td>$entacts[4].description</td> <td>£$entacts[4].ticket</td> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 150)>><td>[[Book for £150|entbooking][$money -= 150; $act to 4; $visitors.push("alt"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £150</td><</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[5].name</td> <td>$entacts[5].description</td> <td>£$entacts[5].ticket</td> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 150)>><td>[[Book for £150|entbooking][$money -= 150; $act to 5; $visitors.push("hipster"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £150</td><</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[6].name</td> <td>$entacts[6].description</td> <td>£$entacts[6].ticket</td> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 200)>><td>[[Book for £200|entbooking][$money -= 200; $act to 6; $visitors.push("bougie"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £200</td><</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[7].name</td> <td>$entacts[7].description</td> <td>£$entacts[7].ticket</td> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 500)>><td>[[Book for £500|entbooking][$money -= 500; $act to 7; $visitors.push("bougie"); $temprep += 15; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £500</td><</if>> </tr> </table> <>

<<run $entstorylets.delete("quiz1")>> quiz [[start]]

<<run $entstorylets.delete("comedy1")>> comedian [[start]]

<> <<set $talk to 0>> <<run $storylets.delete("karaoke1")>> /* <<set $storylets.push("karaoke2")>> */ Big Shirl is waiting outside when you open the pub, dragging a wheeled trolley behind her. She’s dressed even more flashily than usual, a vision in fringed denim and rhinestones. ‘Always like to host the karaoke myself,’ she explains, pulling the trolley over the threshold. ‘I could never resist a sing-song.’ You help Shirl to unload the karaoke machine and set it up in the corner of the pub. It’s hardly state-of-the-art, but Shirl assures you that it’s loaded with all of the ‘trendy new tunes’ as well as the old classics. What these ‘trendy new tunes’ are, you couldn’t say, but the students in the pub tonight might be able to vouch for it. Once the machine’s powered up you join Hazel behind the bar. The two of you watch as Big Shirl welcomes everyone to the pub and brandishes a sign-up sheet at the crowd. Then, presumably to demonstrate to the uninitiated what karaoke is, she launches into the first song—a note-perfect rendition of ‘9 to 5’. ‘Shirl’s got some pipes on her, eh?’ Hazel says. ‘Wish I was that confident.’ [[‘Me too. Maybe it comes with age.’|karaoke1.2][$talk to 1]] [[‘You’re not having a go, then?|karaoke1.2][$talk to 2]] <>

<<run $entstorylets.delete("drag1")>> drag [[start]]

<<run $entstorylets.delete("rock1")>> rock band [[start]]

<<run $entstorylets.delete("folk1")>> folk band [[start]]

<<run $entstorylets.delete("wine1")>> wine [[start]]

<<run $entstorylets.delete("supper1")>> supper [[start]]

<> <h2>Otterley [[(Head Home)|base]]</h2> Otterley is as quiet as you remember it. Pigeons peck at discarded chips in the village square; someone is hoovering with the windows open. <<if ($week == 1) and ($dotw == 3) and ($time gte 3)>> Okay. Here you go. It's time to [[open the pub|firstshift]] for the first time. <<elseif ($dotw gte 3) and ($time gte 3)>> The pub will be opening soon. You should [[get back for your shift|shift]]. <<elseif $time gte 4>> It's getting late. You should [[go home to bed|bed]]. <<else>> <<if ($metshirl is false) and ($dotw gte 1) and ($dotw lte 5)>> You're amazed to see that [[Big Shirl’s Entertainment Emporium ♦|meetshirl]] is still up and running. <<elseif ($dotw gte 1) and ($dotw lte 5)>> Visit [[Big Shirl’s Entertainment Emporium|talenta]] (Open Mon-Fri) <<else>> Big Shirl’s Entertainment Emporium - Closed (Open Mon-Fri) <</if>> <<if ($metravi is false) and (($dotw gte 4) or ($dotw == 1))>> The [[Otterley Community Centre ♦|meetravi]] is a familiar sight. You and Hazel used to go to youth club there when you were kids. <<elseif ($dotw gte 4) or ($dotw == 1)>> Visit [[Otterley Community Centre|ccentre]] (Open Thu-Mon) <<else>> Otterley Community Centre - Closed (Open Thu-Mon) <</if>> <<if ($metalex is false) and (($dotw gte 6) or ($dotw lte 3))>> There’s a new shop on the village square—[[Brass Tacks Interiors ♦|meetalex]]. You should check it out when you have time. <<elseif ($dotw gte 6) or ($dotw lte 3)>> Visit [[Brass Tacks Interiors|diyshop]] (Open Sat-Wed) <<else>> Brass Tacks Interiors - Closed (Open Sat-Wed) <</if>> <</if>> <>

<> <<set $hereTonight to []>> <<set $localsHere to 0>> <<set $studentsHere to 0>> <<set $altsHere to 0>> <<set $hipstersHere to 0>> <<set $bougiesHere to 0>> <<set $localsLeft to 0>> <<set $studentsLeft to 0>> <<set $altsLeft to 0>> <<set $hipstersLeft to 0>> <<set $bougiesLeft to 0>> <<set $lagersBought to 0>> <<set $bittersBought to 0>> <<set $stoutsBought to 0>> <<set $cidersBought to 0>> <<set $IPAsBought to 0>> <<set $portersBought to 0>> <<set $houseredsBought to 0>> <<set $housewhitesBought to 0>> <<set $vodkasBought to 0>> <<set $ginsBought to 0>> <<set $whiskysBought to 0>> <<set $tequilasBought to 0>> <<set $proseccosBought to 0>> <<set $peanutsBought to 0>> <<set $crispsBought to 0>> <<set $scratchingsBought to 0>> <<set $pretzelsBought to 0>> <<set $peasBought to 0>> <<storylets>> <>

<> And now here you are, armed with little more than the paltry sum of money Dad left you and a brand new overdraft. You look at The Stuck Pig, and try and muster up some enthusiasm for this new project. None materialises. You liked your life, back in the city. You were working as a trainee <<cycle "$pcjob" autoselect>><<optionsfrom $jobs>><</cycle>> and not doing too badly at it. Sure, the rent on your flat was astronomical, and there was some sort of toxic mould growing in the bathroom, but that’s the price you pay for independence. Now you’re right back where you started. ‘Shall we go in?’ Hazel says, not sounding particularly thrilled by the prospect. [[‘Let’s get it over with.’|intro6]] <>

<> <<if $pcjob == "builder">> <<set $handy to 25>> <<elseif $pcjob == "salesperson">> <<set $banter to 25>> <<elseif $pcjob == "paramedic">> <<set $firstaid to 25>> <<else>> BUG <</if>> The interior of the pub looks even shabbier than the outside, if possible. The upholstery in the booths, always threadbare, has completely fallen apart in places, and the floorboards are dull with age and wear. Faded photos of old darts teams. Tarnished horse brasses. Smell of drains and stale beer. That smell brings back a lot of memories. Some of them happy. Most of them not. ‘What are we doing here, $pcname?’ Hazel wanders behind the bar, grimaces as she runs a finger across the sticky surface. ‘Maybe we should just burn the place down. Dad must have had it insured, right? Instant cash.’ [[‘I bet he didn’t. Useless arsehole.’|intro7][$talk to 1; $hazapp to 25]] [[‘Come on, Haze. We said we’d stay positive.’|intro7][$talk to 2; $hazapp to 15]] <>

<> <h2>Welcome to PubMaster™!</h2> Pubmaster is your one-stop shop for pub management, and we're so excited to be working with $pubname! The following features are available in the sidebar of the app: <li>Dashboard: This is your hub for all things PubMaster™! Our state-of-the-art algorithms summarise popular reviews of your business, and provide handy hints for improvement!</li> <li>Menu & Pricing: Here you can customise your offering by changing which products you have in stock and adjusting their sell prices</li> <li>Online Store: Our expansive online marketplace brings together a variety of vendors to offer you the best prices on new and existing stock</li> <li>Training Hub: PubMaster™ is now offering bespoke e-learning courses in pub maintenance, hospitality and first aid</li> Thank you for choosing PubMaster™! <>

<> <h2>Training</h2> PubMaster™ is proud to offer several bespoke e-learning courses for our subscribers. Developed in partnership with some of the country’s most successful publicans, our training will help you prepare for any eventuality. <<if ($dotw gte 3) and ($time gte 3)>> Training unavailable. Check back tomorrow. <<elseif $time gte 4>> Training unavailable. Check back tomorrow. <<else>> /* HANDY */ <<if ($handytrain == 1) and ($money gte 100)>> Beginner Maintenance Training: [[£100 ♦|training2][$money -= 100; $trainoption to 1; $handytrain += 1]] <<elseif ($handytrain == 1)>> Beginner Maintenance Training: £100 ♦ <<else>> <</if>> <<if ($handytrain == 2) and ($money gte 200)>> Intermediate Maintenance Training: [[£200 ♦|training2][$money -= 200; $trainoption to 2; $handytrain += 1]] <<elseif ($handytrain == 2)>> Intermediate Maintenance Training: £200 ♦ <<else>> <</if>> <<if ($handytrain == 3) and ($money gte 300)>> Advanced Maintenance Training: [[£300 ♦|training2][$money -= 300; $trainoption to 3; $handytrain += 1]] <<elseif ($handytrain == 3)>> Advanced Maintenance Training: £300 ♦ <<else>> <</if>> <<if $handytrain gte 4>> Maintenance Training Complete <</if>> /* BANTER */ <<if ($bantertrain == 1) and ($money gte 100)>> Beginner Hospitality Training: [[£100 ♦|training2][$money -= 100; $trainoption to 4; $bantertrain += 1]] <<elseif ($bantertrain == 1)>> Beginner Hospitality Training: £100 ♦ <<else>> <</if>> <<if ($bantertrain == 2) and ($money gte 200)>> Intermediate Hospitality Training: [[£200 ♦|training2][$money -= 200; $trainoption to 5; $bantertrain += 1]] <<elseif ($bantertrain == 2)>> Intermediate Hospitality Training: £200 ♦ <<else>> <</if>> <<if ($bantertrain == 3) and ($money gte 300)>> Advanced Hospitality Training: [[£300 ♦|training2][$money -= 300; $trainoption to 6; $bantertrain += 1]] <<elseif ($bantertrain == 3)>> Advanced Hospitality Training: £300 ♦ <<else>> <</if>> <<if $bantertrain gte 4>> Hospitality Training Complete <</if>> /* FIRST AID */ <<if ($firstaidtrain == 1) and ($money gte 100)>> Beginner First Aid Training: [[£100 ♦|training2][$money -= 100; $trainoption to 7; $firstaidtrain += 1]] <<elseif ($firstaidtrain == 1)>> Beginner First Aid Training: £100 ♦ <<else>> <</if>> <<if ($firstaidtrain == 2) and ($money gte 200)>> Intermediate First Aid Training: [[£200 ♦|training2][$money -= 200; $trainoption to 8; $firstaidtrain += 1]] <<elseif ($firstaidtrain == 2)>> Intermediate First Aid Training: £200 ♦ <<else>> <</if>> <<if ($firstaidtrain == 3) and ($money gte 300)>> Advanced First Aid Training: [[£300 ♦|training2][$money -= 300; $trainoption to 9; $firstaidtrain += 1]] <<elseif ($firstaidtrain == 3)>> Advanced First Aid Training: £300 ♦ <<else>> <</if>> <<if $firstaidtrain gte 4>> First Aid Training Complete <</if>> <</if>> <>

<> <<set $time += 1>> <h2>Training</h2> <<if $trainoption == 1>> <<fair_plus "$handy" +25>> The beginner maintenance training is fairly simple stuff; how to shut off the water mains, bleed the radiators, fix wobbly shelving. Nothing you didn’t already know, but it’s good to have a refresher. Your Fixer Upper skill has improved <<elseif $trainoption == 2>> <<fair_plus "$handy" +40>> The intermediate maintenance training is more pub-specific, focusing on how to properly clean the lines (whoops, should have known that already) and calibrate the temperature of the fridges. It’s all helpful stuff. Your Fixer Upper skill has improved <<elseif $trainoption == 3>> <<fair_plus "$handy" +60>> The advanced maintenance training covers a lot of topics—including how to fix a broken line, install new units, and refit carpeting. You feel much better equipped to handle maintenance at the pub now. Your Fixer Upper skill has improved <<elseif $trainoption == 4>> <<fair_plus "$banter" +25>> The beginner hospitality training is fairly basic stuff. Politely greeting customers, dealing with complaints, that sort of thing. Still, worthwhile to brush up on those skills. Your Gift of the Gab skill has improved <<elseif $trainoption == 5>> <<fair_plus "$banter" +40>> The intermediate hospitality training covers some new topics—including how to deescalate confrontations, which you hope will never come in useful. Good to know, you suppose, just in case. Your Gift of the Gab skill has improved <<elseif $trainoption == 6>> <<fair_plus "$banter" +60>> The advanced hospitality training focuses on more specialised hosting skills, such as how to emcee an event, and a little bit of silver service waiting. You don’t think the latter will be of much use at $pubname, but you never know. Your Gift of the Gab skill has improved <<elseif $trainoption == 7>> <<fair_plus "$firstaid" +25>> The beginner first aid course covers the basics of dealing with minor maladies—how to clean a shallow cut, when to call an ambulance, best practice for recording injuries. Nothing groundbreaking, but a useful reminder. Your Helping Hands skill has improved <<elseif $trainoption == 8>> <<fair_plus "$firstaid" +40>> The intermediate first aid course focuses on pub-focused ailments; looking after people who are too drunk to stand up, knowing the signs of alcohol poisoning, how to use an EpiPen if a customer has an allergic reaction to something. Definitely useful to know. Your Helping Hands skill has improved <<elseif $trainoption == 9>> <<fair_plus "$firstaid" +60>> The advanced first aid course deals with more severe illness and injury. It covers things like how to use a portable defibrillator and perform the Heimlich maneuver, which could save someone’s life in the right circumstances. Your Helping Hands skill has improved <<else>> BUG <</if>> [[Return to Training Hub|training]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> Hazel cracks a smile at that. ‘Yeah, true. Alright, alright, no arson. Yet.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> Hazel pulls a face. ‘Maybe you did. Forgive me, but I don’t think a positive mental attitude is going to improve the situation.’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> You both continue your slow circuit around the pub, examining the broken woodburner, the chipped glasses, the wobbly tables. Not encouraging. ‘We’ve got to change the name,’ Hazel says. ‘The Stuck Pig was his pub. It’s ours now. We should at least get to christen it something.’ ‘Any ideas?’ She shrugs. ‘The Festering Orifice? The Waster’s Arms? The Rat and Fleabite? I don’t know. You pick.’ ‘Alright. How about… <<textbox "$pubname" "The Tap House">>?’ [[It’s got a ring to it, you think.|intro8]] <>

<> <<if $pubname is "The Stuck Pig">> ‘For Christ’s sake, $pcname. Seriously? Oh, whatever. Sod it. Sure. At least we don’t have to change the sign.’ <<else>> ‘$pubname… yeah, I like it. And Dad would’ve hated it so, you know. Two for one.’ <</if>> You help yourself to drinks from the back bar fridge, then sit down in the parlour to discuss how this thing is going to work. Hazel will be tending the bar on the nights when the pub is open, and you’ll take charge of the business end of things. ‘Do you even know how to do all that?’ she asks. ‘I bought this app, look,’ you say, showing her your phone. ‘PubMaster™. That should make life easier.’ ‘Why are you saying the T-M out loud? And how much did that cost you?’ [[You don’t respond. It cost quite a lot.|intro9]] <>

<> Eventually Hazel gets bored of discussing business plans and tells you she’s heading upstairs to unpack. It’s still fairly early, and you’ve got a couple of days before the reopening on Wednesday evening. Perhaps you should take a wander round the village, get reacquainted with the place. You finish your drink, wash the glass, and set it on the back bar to dry. Well. [[No time like the present.|base]] <>

<> <h2>Otterley Community Centre [[(Leave)|village]]</h2> The Community Centre is quiet today. The foyer smells like stale coffee and toast. <<if $money gte 5>> [[Donate £5|ccentre][$money -= 5; $donations += 5]] to the centre refurbishment fund <</if>> <<if ($week == 1) and ($dotw == 3) and ($time gte 3)>> Okay. Here you go. It's time to [[open the pub|firstshift]] for the first time. <<elseif ($dotw gte 3) and ($time gte 3)>> The pub will be opening soon. You should [[get back for your shift|shift]]. <<elseif $time gte 4>> It's getting late. You should [[go home to bed|bed]]. <<else>> [[Volunteer with Ravi around the centre ♦|volhelp]] <<if $radiobooked == true>>You have already booked an advertising slot this week. Check back next week to book again. <<else>> Advertise on community radio to attract new types of customer <</if>> <table> <tr> <th>Radio Show</th> <th>Listener Demographics</th> <th>Cost</th> </tr> <tr> <td>Brian’s Breakfast Bonanza</td> <td>Long-time locals in their 50’s and 60’s</td> <td><<if $radiobooked == true>>£25<<else>>[[£25|radioshow][$radioshow to 1; $money -= 25]]<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>DJ Dizzy’s Deep Cuts</td> <td>Students in their late teens and 20’s</td> <td><<if $radiobooked == true>>£25<<else>>[[£25|radioshow][$radioshow to 2; $money -= 25]]<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Meg’s Morning Mixtape</td> <td>Urban transplants in their 30’s and 40’s</td> <td><<if $radiobooked == true>>£50<<else>>[[£50|radioshow][$radioshow to 3; $money -= 50]]<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Winona’s Witching Hour</td> <td>Alternative types in their 20’s and 30’s</td> <td><<if $radiobooked == true>>£50<<else>>[[£50|radioshow][$radioshow to 4; $money -= 50]]<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Stephanie’s String Section</td> <td>Affluent residents in their 40’s and 50’s</td> <td><<if $radiobooked == true>>£75<<else>>[[£75|radioshow][$radioshow to 5; $money -= 75]]<</if>></td> </tr> </table> <</if>> <>

<> <h2>Big Shirl’s Talent Emporium [[(Leave)|village]]</h2> Big Shirl sits at her ancient desktop computer, tapping away at the keyboard with acrylics that could take someone’s eye out. <<if ($week == 1) and ($dotw == 3) and ($time gte 3)>> Okay. Here you go. It's time to [[open the pub|firstshift]] for the first time. <<elseif ($dotw gte 3) and ($time gte 3)>> The pub will be opening soon. You should [[get back for your shift|shift]]. <<elseif $time gte 4>> It's getting late. You should [[go home to bed|bed]]. <<else>> [[Have a natter with Big Shirl ♦|natter]] <<if $entertainment is true>> You can only have one act booked at a time. You can book again after $actBooked. <<else>> Book entertainment to receive a temporary boost to custom and earn money from ticket sales. You are currently booking for <<cycle "$actBooked" autoselect>><<optionsfrom $actDays>><</cycle>> night. <</if>> <table> <tr> <th>Act</th> <th>Description</th> <th>Ticket Price</th> <<if $entertainment is false>><th>Book</th><</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[0].name</td> <td>$entacts[0].description</td> <td>£$entacts[0].ticket</td> <<if $demo is true>> LOCKED <<else>> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 50)>><td>[[Book for £50|talenta][$money -= 50; $act to 0; $visitors.push("hipster"); $temprep += 5; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £50</td><</if>> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[1].name</td> <td>$entacts[1].description</td> <td>£$entacts[1].ticket</td> <<if $demo is true>> LOCKED <<else>> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 100)>><td>[[Book for £100|talenta][$money -= 100; $act to 1; $visitors.push("local"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £100</td><</if>> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[2].name</td> <td>$entacts[2].description</td> <td>£$entacts[2].ticket</td> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 100)>><td>[[Book for £100|talenta][$money -= 100; $act to 2; $visitors.push("student"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £100</td><</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[3].name</td> <td>$entacts[3].description</td> <td>£$entacts[3].ticket</td> <<if $demo is true>> LOCKED <<else>> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 150)>><td>[[Book for £150|talenta][$money -= 150; $act to 3; $visitors.push("alt"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £150</td><</if>> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[4].name</td> <td>$entacts[4].description</td> <td>£$entacts[4].ticket</td> <<if $demo is true>> LOCKED <<else>> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 150)>><td>[[Book for £150|talenta][$money -= 150; $act to 4; $visitors.push("alt"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £150</td><</if>> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[5].name</td> <td>$entacts[5].description</td> <td>£$entacts[5].ticket</td> <<if $demo is true>> LOCKED <<else>> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 150)>><td>[[Book for £150|talenta][$money -= 150; $act to 5; $visitors.push("hipster"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £150</td><</if>> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[6].name</td> <td>$entacts[6].description</td> <td>£$entacts[6].ticket</td> <<if $demo is true>> LOCKED <<else>> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 200)>><td>[[Book for £200|talenta][$money -= 200; $act to 6; $visitors.push("bougie"); $temprep += 10; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £200</td><</if>> <</if>> </tr> <tr> <td>$entacts[7].name</td> <td>$entacts[7].description</td> <td>£$entacts[7].ticket</td> <<if $demo is true>> LOCKED <<else>> <<if ($entertainment is false) and ($money gte 500)>><td>[[Book for £500|talenta][$money -= 500; $act to 7; $visitors.push("bougie"); $temprep += 15; $entertainment to true]]</td><<elseif $entertainment is false>><td>Book for £500</td><</if>> <</if>> </tr> </table> <</if>> <>

<> <h2>Brass Tacks Interiors [[(Leave)|village]]</h2> The shop is cool and quiet, gentle piano music piping from somewhere near the ceiling. <<if ($week == 1) and ($dotw == 3) and ($time gte 3)>> Okay. Here you go. It's time to [[open the pub|firstshift]] for the first time. <<elseif ($dotw gte 3) and ($time gte 3)>> The pub will be opening soon. You should [[get back for your shift|shift]]. <<elseif $time gte 4>> It's getting late. You should [[go home to bed|bed]]. <<else>> [[Help Alex with their DIY projects ♦|diyhelp]] Buy decorating materials to unlock renovation projects in the pub, or buy new styles to update your interiors <table> <tr> <th>Type</th> <th>Style</th> <th>Description</th> <th>Price</th> </tr> <tr> <td>Wall Coverings</td> <td>Modern</td> <td>Simple paint in neutral shades for understated elegance</td> <td><<if ($walls1 is false) and ($money gte 100)>>[[£100|diyshop][$money -= 100; $walls1 to true; $wallsBought to true; $walls to 2]]<<elseif $walls1 is true>>Sold<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Wall Coverings</td> <td>Arts & Crafts</td> <td>Rich floral wallpaper to bring a touch of luxury</td> <td><<if ($walls2 is false) and ($money gte 100)>>[[£100|diyshop][$money -= 100; $walls2 to true; $wallsBought to true; $walls to 3]]<<elseif $walls2 is true>>Sold<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Wall Coverings</td> <td>Rustic</td> <td>Distressed wooden cladding for a log cabin feel</td> <td><<if ($walls3 is false) and ($money gte 100)>>[[£100|diyshop][$money -= 100; $walls3 to true; $wallsBought to true; $walls to 4]]<<elseif $walls3 is true>>Sold<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Upholstery</td> <td>Traditional</td> <td>Rich buttery leather in rich, dark shades</td> <td><<if ($fabric1 is false) and ($money gte 150)>>[[£150|diyshop][$money -= 150; $fabric1 to true; $fabricBought to true; $fabric to 2]]<<elseif $fabric1 is true>>Sold<<else>>£150<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Upholstery</td> <td>Regency</td> <td>Charming light fabrics with subtle floral patterns</td> <td><<if ($fabric2 is false) and ($money gte 150)>>[[£150|diyshop][$money -= 150; $fabric2 to true; $fabricBought to true; $fabric to 3]]<<elseif $fabric2 is true>>Sold<<else>>£150<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Upholstery</td> <td>Boho</td> <td>Bold, funky prints in eye-catching colours</td> <td><<if ($fabric3 is false) and ($money gte 150)>>[[£150|diyshop][$money -= 150; $fabric3 to true; $fabricBought to true; $fabric to 4]]<<elseif $fabric3 is true>>Sold<<else>>£150<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Decoration</td> <td>Maximalist</td> <td>An eclectic selection of bright prints and antiques</td> <td><<if ($decor1 is false) and ($money gte 150)>>[[£150|diyshop][$money -= 150; $decor1 to true; $decorBought to true; $decor to 2]]<<elseif $decor1 is true>>Sold<<else>>£150<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Decoration</td> <td>Mid-Century</td> <td>A mixture of functional furniture and statement art</td> <td><<if ($decor2 is false) and ($money gte 150)>>[[£150|diyshop][$money -= 150; $decor2 to true; $decorBought to true; $decor to 3]]<<elseif $decor2 is true>>Sold<<else>>£150<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Decoration</td> <td>Industrial</td> <td>Striking decor made with exposed materials</td> <td><<if ($decor3 is false) and ($money gte 150)>>[[£150|diyshop][$money -= 150; $decor3 to true; $decorBought to true; $decor to 4]]<<elseif $decor3 is true>>Sold<<else>>£150<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Lighting</td> <td>Art Deco</td> <td>Luxurious glass lampshades with stylised patterns</td> <td><<if ($lights1 is false) and ($money gte 100)>>[[£100|diyshop][$money -= 100; $lights1 to true; $lightsBought to true; $lights to 2]]<<elseif $lights1 is true>>Sold<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Lighting</td> <td>Rococo</td> <td>Decorative crystal chandeliers and wall sconces</td> <td><<if ($lights2 is false) and ($money gte 100)>>[[£100|diyshop][$money -= 100; $lights2 to true; $lightsBought to true; $lights to 3]]<<elseif $lights2 is true>>Sold<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Lighting</td> <td>Nordic</td> <td>Minimal, clean lighting in functional styles</td> <td><<if ($lights3 is false) and ($money gte 100)>>[[£100|diyshop][$money -= 100; $lights3 to true; $lightsBought to true; $lights to 4]]<<elseif $lights3 is true>>Sold<<else>>£100<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Garden</td> <td>Cottage</td> <td>Wildflowers, potted herbs and wooden benches</td> <td><<if ($garden1 is false) and ($money gte 200)>>[[£200|diyshop][$money -= 200; $garden1 to true; $gardenBought to true; $garden to 2]]<<elseif $garden1 is true>>Sold<<else>>£200<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Garden</td> <td>Contemporary</td> <td>Water features, succulents and cast iron furniture</td> <td><<if ($garden2 is false) and ($money gte 200)>>[[£200|diyshop][$money -= 200; $garden2 to true; $gardenBought to true; $garden to 3]]<<elseif $garden2 is true>>Sold<<else>>£200<</if>></td> </tr> <tr> <td>Garden</td> <td>Mediterranean</td> <td>Hardy plants, terracotta pots and shaded seating</td> <td><<if ($garden3 is false) and ($money gte 200)>>[[£200|diyshop][$money -= 200; $garden3 to true; $gardenBought to true; $garden to 4]]<<elseif $garden3 is true>>Sold<<else>>£200<</if>></td> </tr> </table> <</if>> <>

<> <<set $talk to 0>> <<set $metshirl to true>> <<set $time += 1>> <<run $storylets.push("shirl1")>> You’re frankly amazed that Big Shirl’s Entertainment Emporium has managed to survive this long. The front window appears unchanged since your childhood—posters advertising magic shows for kids, photos of comedians in old-fashioned dinner jackets, testimonials from Z-list celebrities who haven’t been famous since the eighties. When you step inside a bell above the door tinkles, announcing your arrival. The office has been outfitted with a rather gaudy array of furnishings, including a plush velvet sofa and a painting of a scantily clad woman with a swan. Behind a large mahogany desk is a tiny, bird-boned woman with dyed red hair and shoulderpads to rival a military general—Big Shirl herself, just as you remember her. When you were little it was always ‘Auntie Shirl’, though you’re not related by blood. Shirl smiles at you as you enter, and it’s a moment before her eyes widen in recognition. ‘Oh my days,’ she says, jumping to her feet. ‘It’s not $pcname? George’s eldest? Bloody hell, kid, how long has it been?’ [[‘Ten years, at least. It’s good to see you, Shirl.’|meetshirl2][$talk to 1]] [[‘Not long enough. I hadn’t planned on coming back at all.’|meetshirl2][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<set $time +=1>> <<set $talk to 0>> <<set $metalex to true>> <<run $storylets.push("alex1")>> Brass Tacks definitely wasn’t here when you were growing up. It looks like it’s brand new, in fact—the fascia is halfway through being painted, and there’s a poster in the window for an opening event that took place last week. Whoever the owner is, they’ve done the place up nicely. If you recall correctly this building used to be a fairly grotty pet shop, but now it’s an open, welcoming space with soft lighting and white-painted walls. A mixture of antique and modern furniture has been arranged artfully around the space, and chrome racks display rolls of wallpaper, curtain fabric and other decorating materials. The person who you assume is the proprietor is up a ladder when you walk inside, fitting a lampshade, but they climb down when they see you approaching. They’re tall and sturdily built, with dark curls and a spattering of freckles. You’re certain that you recognise them. The shop owner squints at you slightly, as if thinking the same. ‘Hello,’ they say, raising a paint-stained hand in greeting. ‘Can I help you with anything? [[‘Do I know you from somewhere?’|meetalex2][$talk to 1]] [[‘Just browsing, thanks.’|meetalex2][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<set $time += 1>> <<set $talk to 0>> <<set $metravi to true>> <<run $storylets.push("ravi1")>> You’re hit by a wave of nostalgia the moment you set foot in the community centre. That smell—plimsoll rubber and digestive biscuits and bleach. You and Hazel used to come here every Friday night for youth club (until you decided you were too cool for it, and started drinking cider down by the bike sheds instead). Every event in the village happened here. Bring-and-buy sales, school plays, the WI’s summer fete. Though it mostly looks the same, there are some differences from when you were growing up. You notice posters for a weekly food bank, and there’s a donation box for a building refurbishment appeal. Are things everywhere actually worse now you’re an adult, or does it just feel that way? You’re looking at a flyer for a community radio station—that’s new, too—when you hear someone call your name. Turning around, you’re surprised to see a familiar face beaming at you from behind the reception desk. Older now, his once-shaggy dark hair cropped close to the skull, but you’d know that grin anywhere. Ravi was your best friend when you were a kid—you met him in this very building, in fact—and you’ve always meant to get back in touch. ‘No way,’ you say. ‘As if you’re still here.’ ‘As if you’re back.’ [[‘It’s only temporary. Six weeks, tops. Then I’m out of here again.’|meetravi2][$talk to 1]] [[‘How have you been, man? It’s really good to see you.’|meetravi2][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘You too, my darling. Didn’t you grow up gorgeous? Come on, now, sit down, let me get you a cuppa.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘Must admit, I’m surprised to see you. I thought you and your dad had… well, never mind. Let me put the kettle on.’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> Big Shirl disappears into a back room and emerges a few minutes later with two steaming cups of tea. She urges you onto the plush sofa and sits down opposite you in a high-backed armchair. The tea is builder’s strength, well-sugared enough to stand a spoon up in. ‘Tell me everything, kid,’ she says. ‘What brings you back here? How’s that beautiful sister of yours?’ You fill Big Shirl in on the situation—your dad’s will, the plan to revitalise the pub. You leave out the bit where you’re intending to put it up for sale. Shirl and your dad were friends, and you aren’t sure how she’d react to the news. ‘Isn’t that something?’ she says, blinking heavily mascaraed eyes. ‘Well, if you need any entertainment booking for the pub, I’ll give you a good rate. A Big Shirl event always brings in a nice bit of business, I can promise you that.’ ‘Thanks, Auntie Shirl. I’ll think about it.’ She sets her mug down on the coffee table, drums her fingers on the arm of the chair for a moment. ‘You know,’ she says, ‘I hope you don’t mind me saying, but I was surprised not to see you and Hazel at the funeral. Not prying, of course, love. But I thought you might come.’ [[‘We were both really busy with work. Couldn’t get the time off.’|meetshirl3][$talk to 1]] [[‘You know we didn’t have a good relationship with Dad, Shirl.’|meetshirl3][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘Of course,’ she says. ‘You young people are always so busy. I understand. We gave him a nice send-off, anyway.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘I know,’ she says quietly. ‘George could be a hard man. I’m not criticising, love. We just missed you there.’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> Big Shirl changes the subject after that, bringing over her catalogue of acts and talking you through each one in detail. She’s a good saleswoman, you have to give her credit for that. And she’s got a point—if you booked some entertainment for the pub it might pull a decent crowd, and the money from ticket sales wouldn’t go amiss. Once you’ve finished your tea Big Shirl clears the mugs away, then pulls you into a hug. She smells like fancy perfume and cheap cigarettes. ‘Don’t be a stranger, kid,’ she says. ‘And tell your sister the same. You’re family. Both of you.’ [[Return|talenta]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<if $dotw != 7>> <<set $dotw +=1>> <<else>> <<set $dotw to 1>> <<set $week +=1>> <</if>> <<set $time to 1>> You fall asleep in the narrow bed in your childhood room, and wake feeling mostly rested. [[Time to get up.|base]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘I was just trying to place you,’ they say. ‘Are you local? I’m sure I haven’t seen you around here.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘Well, let me know if you need a hand,’ they say. ‘You know, it’s funny. I’m sure you look familiar. Have we met before?’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> ‘I grew up in Otterley,’ you say. ‘Just moved back. Temporarily.’ They tilt their head to the side, humming in consideration, then suddenly snap their fingers. ‘I know who you are! $pcname, right? I was in Hazel’s year at school. It’s Alex. Alex Sawyer.’ You do remember them, now that you have the right context. One of the many teens who Hazel used to hang around with back in the day, all of them fashionably dressed and brimming with small-town ennui. Your little sister was always the popular one. ‘That’s right,’ you say. ‘We’re taking over the pub for a bit.’ ‘Oh, Hazel’s here too? No way. I’ll have to drop in sometime. Man, I’ve not seen her in years. She was amazing. I was always terrified of her.’ [[‘We have that in common.’|meetalex3][$talk to 1]] [[‘Oh, Hazel’s a pussycat really. I’m sure she’d love to see you.’|meetalex3][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> Alex laughs, shaking their head. ‘Well, I’m glad she’s back, anyway. It’ll be good to catch up.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘I’ll drop by, for sure,’ Alex says. ‘Thought I was the only one nuts enough to come back here. Glad I’m not alone.’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> Now that you’ve placed each other Alex gives you a tour of Brass Tacks. Like you, they moved away from Otterley as soon as they could, but after a few years working in the city as an interior designer they realised that they missed village life. ‘Used my savings to put a deposit down on this place,’ they say, looking proudly around the shop. ‘I’m going to bring Otterley kicking and screaming into the twenty-first century. If you need anything to spruce up the pub, you’ll find it here.’ You admit that, yes, the place could do with a little bit of work. To put it mildly. ‘Hopefully I can help with that,’ they say. ‘Tell you what—hold this ladder still a sec and I’ll even give you a discount.’ You know a good deal when you hear one. Alex gets back up the ladder and finishes fitting the lampshade, and you do an excellent job holding it still. Maybe you could give them a hand again sometime—and brush up on your DIY skills to boot. [[Return|diyshop]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘Oh right,’ he says, looking a little disappointed. ‘Well, glad I caught you while you’re here. What brings you back to town?’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘Ah, same old,’ he says. ‘Nothing much changes round here. You showing up is the biggest surprise I’ve had in months. Why are you here, anyway?’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> You bring Ravi up to speed on the situation. When you tell him about Dad leaving you and Hazel the pub, his eyes almost pop out of his head. The two of you were pretty close, once, and he knew things at home weren’t always great. ‘Wow,’ he says. ‘That’s huge, $pcname. Good luck with it all.’ ‘Thanks,’ you say. ‘What about you, anyway? Are you working here now?’ ‘For my sins,’ he says, beaming again. ‘Do a bit of everything. Have to, way that funding is these days. Run the youth club. Breakfast club. Food bank. Community radio. Zumba—hey, come on, don’t laugh. It’s good exercise. Great for the core.’ Ravi invites you back to the office, where the two of you sit on uncomfortable plastic chairs and reminisce about old times. His memories of growing up here are much fonder than yours, but he’s always been a happy-go-lucky sort of person. Maybe it’s easy to be, when your parents are as lovely as his are. ‘So what’s your plan, then?’ he asks. ‘For the pub, I mean. How are you gonna do it up?’ [[‘I’ve got some ideas.’|meetravi3][$talk to 1]] [[‘I have absolutely no idea.’|meetravi3][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘I’m sure you do,’ he says. ‘I’ll have to drop by, see how you’re getting on. Oh hey, wait there—’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘Mate,’ he says. ‘Tough job. But hey, hang on, I’ve got an idea—’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> Ravi goes to a desk and rummages through the many papers crowding its surface. He returns a moment later with a printed list, which he hands to you proudly. There’s a coffee ring staining one corner. ‘Community radio advertising,’ he says. ‘Pretty effective, round here. These are all the shows we do, and the costs for a spot. Think about it. All the funds go back into the centre, so you’d be doing us a favour too.’ ‘Oh, cheers,’ you say, glancing over the list. ‘Do people still listen to the radio?’ ‘In Otterley they do. Not like there’s much else going on.’ He checks his watch. ‘Sorry, $pcname, I’ve got men’s group in a minute. But drop in again, alright? Could even sign you up as a volunteer if you fancy helping out sometime.’ You tell Ravi that you will, and he shows you back out to the foyer. Even if this whole pub plan turns out to be a disaster, at least you’ve been able to catch up with an old friend. [[Return|ccentre]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<set $time += 1>> <<if $thisReno == 1>> <<if $wallsProg == 0>> <<set $wallsProg to 25>> Before you can do anything, you have to strip the old wallpaper. It really is disgusting—stained yellow with age and smoke, riddled with mould. Horrible. <<elseif $wallsProg == 25>> <<set $wallsProg to 50>> Now that the rancid old paper is gone, you can scrape down the walls underneath. A thorough scrubbing with sugar soap and they look—well, not good, exactly, but not terrible either. <<elseif $wallsProg == 50>> <<set $wallsProg to 75>> Nearly there. Once the walls are clean and dry, you use filler on the worst cracks and paint over the top in white emulsion. There. Good as new. <<elseif $wallsProg == 75>> <<set $wallsProg to 100>> <<set $renovated += 1>> <<set $pubrep += 5>> Finally—finally!—you can start <<multi $walls>>BUG|painting the walls an attractive new colour.|putting up your fancy new wallpaper.|installing the wooden cladding.|BUG<</multi>> This should really transform $pubname. $pubname’s reputation has improved <<else>> <</if>> <<elseif $thisReno == 2>> <<if $fabricProg == 0>> <<set $fabricProg to 25>> First things first, you have to strip the old fabric off the existing stools and banquettes. The old vinyl is worn and split, eroded away by several decades of use. That goes straight in the bin. <<elseif $fabricProg == 25>> <<set $fabricProg to 50>> You need to replace the cushion parts of the seating now. The old stuffing is coming to pieces, ancient crumbs nestled in the splits and cracks. The new foam coverings are firm and bouncy, and should be much more pleasant to sit on. <<elseif $fabricProg == 50>> <<set $fabricProg to 75>> You spend some time covering the chairs and booths in the new fabric, and use pins to hold the pieces into place for the time being. <<elseif $fabricProg == 75>> <<set $fabricProg to 100>> <<set $renovated += 1>> <<set $pubrep += 5>> Finally, you staple the <<multi $fabric>>BUG|rich leather|floral cotton|bright patterned fabric|BUG<</multi>> into place. It’s an incredible transformation—the pub actually looks like somewhere you might want to sit now. $pubname’s reputation has improved <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<elseif $thisReno == 3>> <<if $decorProg == 0>> <<set $decorProg to 25>> Before you can start arranging the new decorations and furniture, you have to get rid of the old stuff. You pack away the ugly paintings, broken ornaments and other eyesores into an old crisp box and shove them in the loft. <<elseif $decorProg == 25>> <<set $decorProg to 50>> You spend some time preparing the parlour for redecoration, putting up new picture hooks and a couple of simple shelves. <<elseif $decorProg == 50>> <<set $decorProg to 75>> You start with the bigger stuff—pieces of furniture, larger artworks, that sort of thing—figuring out where best to place them in the room. It’s beginning to come together. <<elseif $decorProg == 75>> <<set $decorProg to 100>> <<set $renovated += 1>> <<set $pubrep += 5>> Finally, you arrange the smaller decorative pieces around the room to complement the new furniture. <<multi $decor>>BUG|The pops of colour, quirky antiques and unique prints really brighten the place up.|The slick, functional furniture and bold oversized art prints make the pub look brand new.|The bold textures of the industrial decor make the pub look modern for the first time in decades.|BUG<</multi>> $pubname’s reputation has improved <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<elseif $thisReno == 4>> <<if $lightsProg == 0>> <<set $lightsProg to 25>> Before you can fit any new lighting, the old glass lampshades have to come down. This is unpleasant work—each one is like a small graveyard for flies—and you’re relieved when it’s finally done. <<elseif $lightsProg == 25>> <<set $lightsProg to 50>> The old cables and ceiling roses are looking tired and worn, the wires fraying in places. You shut off the electrics for a bit and spend some time carefully replacing them with new ones. Safer, as well as easier on the eye. <<elseif $lightsProg == 50>> <<set $lightsProg to 75>> You put new energy-efficient lightbulbs in all of the fittings, and test everything to make sure it’s working. So far so good. <<elseif $lightsProg == 75>> <<set $lightsProg to 100>> <<set $renovated += 1>> <<set $pubrep += 5>> Finally, you install the new light fixtures and step back to admire your handiwork. <<multi $lights>>BUG|The smoky glass of the lampshades brings so much more atmosphere to the place.|The candelabras and sconces really bring a touch of luxury to the place.|The simple, clean lines of the lampshades make the place feel much more relaxing.|BUG<</multi>> $pubname’s reputation has improved <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<elseif $thisReno == 5>> <<if $gardenProg == 0>> <<set $gardenProg to 25>> You spend a few exhausting hours shifting picnic benches and prying up concrete slabs, leaving bare earth and scrubby grass behind. The garden looks worse than it did before, but that’s only temporary. <<elseif $gardenProg == 25>> <<set $gardenProg to 50>> You dig over the packed earth in the beer garden, exposing the damp, dark loam beneath. Now that you can see what you’re working with, you start planning where everything will go. <<elseif $gardenProg == 50>> <<set $gardenProg to 75>> You spend some time carefully laying the new slabs that will make up the patio and the paths. You can almost imagine what the garden will look like when it’s finished now. <<elseif $gardenProg == 75>> <<set $gardenProg to 100>> <<set $renovated += 1>> <<set $pubrep += 5>> Finally, you plant the <<multi $walls>>BUG|wildflowers and herbs and arrange the new benches.|succulents and install the new water feature.|hardy perennials and artfully arrange the terracotta pots.|BUG<</multi>> The garden is unrecognisable now—it’s hard to believe this is the same square of land. $pubname’s reputation has improved <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<else>> BUG <</if>> [[Return|base]] <>

<> <<widget "multi" container>> <<set _variants = _contents.split("|")>> <<for _i, _variant range _variants>> <<if _i+1 === _args[0]>> <<print _variant>> <</if>> <</for>> <</widget>> <>

<> /* RUN CUSTOMER CHECKS */ <<if ($dotw == 3) and ($actBooked == "Wednesday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <<elseif ($dotw == 4) and ($actBooked == "Thursday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <<elseif ($dotw == 5) and ($actBooked == "Friday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <<elseif ($dotw == 6) and ($actBooked == "Saturday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <<elseif ($dotw == 7) and ($actBooked == "Sunday")>> <<set _bookedNow to true>> <<else>> <<set _bookedNow to false>> <</if>> <<if ($entertainment is true) and (_bookedNow is true)>> <<set $hereTonight to $punters.concat($visitors)>> <<set _repNow to ($pubrep + $temprep)>> <<else>> <<set $hereTonight to $punters>> <<set _repNow to $pubrep>> <</if>> <<if _repNow lte 19>> <<set _customers to random(5,15)>> <<elseif (_repNow gte 20) and (_repNow lte 39)>> <<set _customers to random(15,25)>> <<elseif (_repNow gte 40) and (_repNow lte 59)>> <<set _customers to random(25,35)>> <<elseif (_repNow gte 60) and (_repNow lte 79)>> <<set _customers to random(35,45)>> <<else>> <<set _customers to random(45,55)>> <</if>> /*DRINKS*/ <<set _taps to []>> <<set _taps.push($tapone)>> <<set _taps.push($taptwo)>> <<set _taps.push($tapthree)>> <<set _taps.push($tapfour)>> /* PRICE POINTS */ <<set _lagersBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _lagerPrice to $beersmap[0].price>> <<set _lagerBase to $beersmap[0].base>> <<set _lagerProfit to (_lagerPrice - _lagerBase)>> <<set _bittersBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _bitterPrice to $beersmap[1].price>> <<set _bitterBase to $beersmap[1].base>> <<set _bitterProfit to (_bitterPrice - _bitterBase)>> <<set _stoutsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _stoutPrice to $beersmap[2].price>> <<set _stoutBase to $beersmap[2].base>> <<set _stoutProfit to (_stoutPrice - _stoutBase)>> <<set _cidersBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _ciderPrice to $beersmap[3].price>> <<set _ciderBase to $beersmap[3].base>> <<set _ciderProfit to (_ciderPrice - _ciderBase)>> <<set _IPAsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _IPAPrice to $beersmap[$ipapos].price>> <<set _IPABase to $beersmap[$ipapos].base>> <<set _IPAProfit to (_IPAPrice - _IPABase)>> <<set _portersBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _porterPrice to $beersmap[$porterpos].price>> <<set _porterBase to $beersmap[$porterpos].base>> <<set _porterProfit to (_porterPrice - _porterBase)>> <<set _houseredsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _houseredPrice to $drinksmap[0].price>> <<set _houseredBase to $drinksmap[0].base>> <<set _houseredProfit to (_houseredPrice - _houseredBase)>> <<set _housewhitesBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _housewhitePrice to $drinksmap[1].price>> <<set _housewhiteBase to $drinksmap[1].base>> <<set _housewhiteProfit to (_housewhitePrice - _housewhiteBase)>> <<set _vodkasBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _vodkaPrice to $drinksmap[2].price>> <<set _vodkaBase to $drinksmap[2].base>> <<set _vodkaProfit to (_vodkaPrice - _vodkaBase)>> <<set _ginsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _ginPrice to $drinksmap[3].price>> <<set _ginBase to $drinksmap[3].base>> <<set _ginProfit to (_ginPrice - _ginBase)>> <<set _whiskysBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _whiskyPrice to $drinksmap[4].price>> <<set _whiskyBase to $drinksmap[4].base>> <<set _whiskyProfit to (_whiskyPrice - _whiskyBase)>> <<set _tequilasBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _tequilaPrice to $drinksmap[$teqpos].price>> <<set _tequilaBase to $drinksmap[$teqpos].base>> <<set _tequilaProfit to (_tequilaPrice - _tequilaBase)>> <<set _proseccosBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _proseccoPrice to $drinksmap[$propos].price>> <<set _proseccoBase to $drinksmap[$propos].base>> <<set _proseccoProfit to (_proseccoPrice - _proseccoBase)>> <<set _peanutsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _peanutsPrice to $snacksmap[0].price>> <<set _peanutsBase to $snacksmap[0].base>> <<set _peanutsProfit to (_peanutsPrice - _peanutsBase)>> <<set _crispsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _crispsPrice to $snacksmap[1].price>> <<set _crispsBase to $snacksmap[1].base>> <<set _crispsProfit to (_crispsPrice - _crispsBase)>> <<set _scratchingsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _scratchingsPrice to $snacksmap[2].price>> <<set _scratchingsBase to $snacksmap[2].base>> <<set _scratchingsProfit to (_scratchingsPrice - _scratchingsBase)>> <<set _pretzelsBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _pretzelsPrice to $snacksmap[$pretpos].price>> <<set _pretzelsBase to $snacksmap[$pretpos].base>> <<set _pretzelsProfit to (_pretzelsPrice - _pretzelsBase)>> <<set _peasBoughtNow to 0>> <<set _peasPrice to $snacksmap[$peapos].price>> <<set _peasBase to $snacksmap[$peapos].base>> <<set _peasProfit to (_peasPrice - _peasBase)>> /* PUNTERS */ <<if $hereTonight.length gte 1>> <<set $hereTonight.shuffle()>> <<set _punter to $hereTonight[0]>> <</if>> /* STUDENT*/ <<if _punter == "student">> <<set _studentDrink to []>> <<set _studentDrinkChoice to "">> <<set $studentsHere += 1>> <<if (_taps.includes("Lager")) and (_lagerPrice lte 5) and ($beersmap[0].units gt 0)>> <<set _studentDrink.push("Lager", "Lager")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_taps.includes("Cider")) and (_ciderPrice lte 5) and ($beersmap[3].units gt 0)>> <<set _studentDrink.push("Cider", "Cider")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_vodkaPrice lte 5) and ($drinksmap[2].units gt 0)>> <<set _studentDrink.push("Vodka", "Vodka")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if ($drinks.includes("Tequila")) and (_tequilaPrice lte 5) and ($drinksmap[$teqpos].units gt 0)>> <<set _studentDrink.push("Tequila")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if (_ginPrice lte 5) and ($drinksmap[3].units gt 0)>> <<set _studentDrink.push("Gin")>> <<else>> <<set _noDrink += 1>> <</if>> <<if _noDrink gt 0>> <<set _studentDrink.push("NoDrink")>> <</if>> <<set _totalCustomers += 1>> <<set _studentDrinkChoice to _studentDrink.random()>> <<if _studentDrinkChoice == "Lager">> <<if $beersmap[0].units lt 5>> <<set $lagersBought += $beersmap[0].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[0].units * _lagerProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[0].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _lagersBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $lagersBought += _lagersBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_lagersBoughtNow * _lagerProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[0].units -= _lagersBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _studentDrinkChoice == "Cider">> <<if $beersmap[3].units lt 5>> <<set $cidersBought += $beersmap[3].units>> <<set $profit += ($beersmap[3].units * _ciderProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[3].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _cidersBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $cidersBought += _cidersBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_cidersBoughtNow * _ciderProfit)>> <<set $beersmap[3].units -= _cidersBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _studentDrinkChoice == "Vodka">> <<if $drinksmap[2].units lt 5>> <<set $vodkasBought += $drinksmap[0].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[2].units * _vodkaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[2].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _vodkasBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $vodkasBought += _vodkasBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_vodkasBoughtNow * _vodkaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[2].units -= _vodkasBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _studentDrinkChoice == "Tequila">> <<if $drinksmap[$teqpos].units lt 5>> <<set $tequilasBought += $drinksmap[$teqpos].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[$teqpos].units * _tequilaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[$teqpos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _tequilasBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $tequilasBought += _tequilasBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_tequilasBoughtNow * _tequilaProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[$teqpos].units -= _tequilasBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _studentDrinkChoice == "Gin">> <<if $drinksmap[3].units lt 5>> <<set $ginsBought += $drinksmap[3].units>> <<set $profit += ($drinksmap[3].units * _ginProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[3].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _ginsBoughtNow to random(1,5)>> <<set $ginsBought += _ginsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_ginsBoughtNow * _ginProfit)>> <<set $drinksmap[3].units -= _ginsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <<elseif _studentDrinkChoice == "NoDrink">> <<set $studentsLeft += 1>> <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<if _studentDrinkChoice != "NoDrink">> <<set _snackBuy to random(1,3)>> <<if _snackBuy == 1>> <<elseif _snackBuy == 2>> <<if _crispsPrice lte 2.5>> <<if $snacksmap[1].units lt 3>> <<set $crispsBought += $snacksmap[1].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[1].units * _crispsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[1].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _crispsBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $crispsBought += _crispsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_crispsBoughtNow * _crispsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[1].units -= _crispsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <<else>> <<if (_pretzelsPrice lte 2.5) and ($snacks.includes("Pretzels")>> <<if $snacksmap[$pretpos].units lt 3>> <<set $pretzelsBought += $snacksmap[$pretpos].units>> <<set $profit += ($snacksmap[$pretpos].units * _pretzelsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[$pretpos].units to 0>> <<else>> <<set _pretzelsBoughtNow to random(1,3)>> <<set $pretzelsBought += _pretzelsBoughtNow>> <<set $profit += (_pretzelsBoughtNow * _pretzelsProfit)>> <<set $snacksmap[$pretpos].units -= _pretzelsBoughtNow>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <>

<<run $storylets.delete("discussion")>> /* <<set $storylets.push("barfight")>> */ discussion [[endnight]]

<> <<set $time += 1>> <<set $talk to 0>> <<run $storylets.delete("slip")>> /* <<set $storylets.push("brokenglass")>> */ There’s a darts match on tonight, and after much wheedling Murphy has compelled Hazel to turn off the music and stick on the TV in the corner. The screen is fairly small, and so a group of regulars have ended up huddling in the middle of the room to get the best view. They’re all getting in each other’s way, knocking into one another every time they lift their glasses to drink or gesticulate in frustration with the caller. ‘That’s not going to end well,’ Hazel observes. Almost as soon as she’s said it she’s proven right, when one old chap bumps his neighbour’s elbow and sends half his pint sloshing onto the floor. Several people let out sounds of annoyance, but no one makes any attempt to move. Hazel lets out a long-suffering sigh. ‘Right. I’ll get a mop.’ [[‘I’ll keep an eye on this lot.’|slip2][$talk to 1]] [[‘Don’t worry, I’ll get it.’|slip2][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<set $time += 1>> <<fair_plus "$firstaid" +5>> <<if $vol == 1>> Ravi is hosting the lunch club today, and you help him construct what feels like ten thousand egg and cress sandwiches. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 2>> There’s a social club in the hall today, and you spend an hour playing cards with some of the elderly attendees. You don’t mind admitting that they absolutely wipe the floor with you. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 3>> Ravi is running a chairobics class in the hall, and he ropes you in to demonstrate some of the moves. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 4>> Ravi is in the office sorting through donations, and you help him sort and tot up all of the loose coins. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 5>> There’s a coffee morning in the centre today, and you get assigned to refilling the tea urns, which deplete so swiftly that it’s a struggle to keep up with demand. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 6>> A local school—your old school, actually—are hosting a bring and buy sale in the hall, and you pitch in to help the teachers price and label all the bric-a-brac. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 7>> There’s a clothes swap event in the centre today, and you spend an hour helping Ravi sorting through the donations and folding them neatly on the tables. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 8>> A job lot of donations from the local supermarket have come in for the food bank, and you help Ravi to unload and store them in the pantry. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 9>> There’s a dance class for old age pensioners taking place in the hall today, and there’s an odd number of participants. Ravi is in a meeting, so you step in to partner one of the dancers instead. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 10>> Ravi is deep cleaning the centre’s kitchenette, and you chip in to help him. It’s already squeaky clean, but there’s a council inspection due soon and your old friend has high standards. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 11>> There’s a story-and-song group for toddlers in the hall today, and you volunteer to make cups of tea and coffee for the knackered-looking parents. They seem grateful. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 12>> There’s a job club taking place in the centre today, and you spend an hour helping one of the attendees fill in an application. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 13>> It’s community meal day at the centre, and you take the role of Ravi’s sous chef. The equipment in the kitchenette is limited, but you manage to produce a hearty meal from mostly donated ingredients. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 14>> There’s an art group in the hall today, and you help out fetching water for paintbrushes, providing fresh sheets of paper, and replacing dried-out pens. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 15>> The hall has been rented out for a children’s party today, and once it’s over you pop in to help Ravi clean up the aftermath. It’s incredible how much mess can be made in just a couple of short hours. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 16>> There’s a five-a-side football match taking place on the scrubby field outside the centre, and you volunteer to referee. Luckily there are no particularly contentious moments, and you have fun blowing the whistle. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 17>> You help Ravi and a few other volunteers work in the ‘community allotment’, which is admittedly just a flowerbed with some courgettes and tomatoes planted in it. It’s a pleasant couple of hours, though. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 18>> There’s a repair cafe taking place in the centre today, and you help to match people who have brought in broken items to the tradesperson that might be able to help them fix it. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 19>> There’s a cake sale in the hall today, a joint fundraising effort between the centre and the WI. You man a stall selling jam tarts, and manage to clear your plates by the time the sale is over. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 20>> There’s some community first aid training being hosted at the centre today, and you go along to refresh your skills. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 21>> The centre is hosting a craft fair today, and you help some of the visiting artists get their tables set up around the hall. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 22>> The local school are using the hall for a dress rehearsal for a play. When it’s discovered that some of the costumes have been damaged in transit, you offer to safety-pin them back together for a temporary fix. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 23>> The community radio hosts are having their weekly meeting today, and you volunteer to take minutes. It’s interesting hearing about what goes on behind the scenes. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 24>> You spend a couple of hours helping Ravi to record a guided tour of the community centre, which he’s hoping to use as a funding resource. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 25>> There’s a local fun run going past the community centre today, and you man the stall handing out water and energy bars when the participants jog past. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 26>> You and a few other volunteers pitch in to do a stock take in the pantry, reorganising the shelves and getting rid of any expired items. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 27>> You knew it would happen eventually—Ravi ropes you into taking part in one of his Zumba classes. It’s more fun than you anticipated, but it’s much more of a workout than you’re used to. You’re going to be aching for days after this. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 28>> There’s a befriending group taking place in the hall, and you join the other participants having a chat over a generous plate of biscuits. It’s nice to get to know a few more of your neighbours. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 29>> You spend some time helping Ravi collect testimonials from centre attendees and volunteers ahead of a big funding application he’s submitting to the council. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<elseif $vol == 30>> Today there’s a table tennis tournament taking place in the hall, and you end up being the person who fetches the balls from whatever far corner they’ve been whacked into. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <<else>> You spend some time volunteering with Ravi around the centre. Your Helping Hands skill has increased <</if>> [[Return|ccentre]] <<set $vol += 1>> <>

<> <h3>Otterley Community Radio</h3> <<if $radioshow == 1>> <<set $radiobooked to true>> <<set $punters.push("local")>> You give your ad copy to Brian, a pink-cheeked, bearded man in a knitted jumper. You’re sure you recognise him; he looks like the type who would have come into the pub when your dad still ran it. He promises to read your ad out in the prime morning slot. <<elseif $radioshow == 2>> <<set $radiobooked to true>> <<set $punters.push("student")>> DJ Dizzy can’t be long out of secondary school, and is effortlessly, painfully cool in the way some teenagers are (Hazel was like this—the jury’s out on you). He glances over your ad copy and nods, then spins back to the mixing desk. <<elseif $radioshow == 3>> <<set $radiobooked to true>> <<set $punters.push("hipster")>> Meg, a curly-haired woman in bright dungarees, takes your ad copy and tells you she’ll read it out during her next show. There are several boxes of vinyl records stacked up beside her desk—you peer at some of the band names, and discover that you haven’t heard of a single one. <<elseif $radioshow == 4>> <<set $radiobooked to true>> <<set $punters.push("alt")>> You hand your ad copy to Winona, the host of the Witching Hour. She’s an honest-to-goodness goth—you don’t see many of them in Otterley—but her manner is cheerful as she reads over the ad and promises to read it when she’s next on air. <<elseif $radioshow == 5>> <<set $radiobooked to true>> <<set $punters.push("bougie")>> Stephanie is an elegant silver-haired woman who looks like she’s just stepped out of a Boden catalogue. She looks over your ad copy, smiling politely, and tells you that she’ll find an appropriate time to read it next time she’s hosting her show. <<else>> BUG <</if>> This will attract new customers to $pubname [[Return|ccentre]] <>

<> <<set $talk to 0>> <<set $hazstory to 1>> <<set $time += 1>> You climb the stairs to the small flat above the pub, where you and Hazel will be living for the next six weeks. You find her in her old bedroom, her suitcases beside her, arms folded across her chest. The room is full of rubbish; broken furniture, boxes of old trade magazines, forgotten paperwork. A single fly buzzes around the room, occasionally battering itself against the grimy window. Your sister looks outwardly furious, but you can tell from the set of her jaw that she’s on the verge of tears. ‘I can’t believe this,’ Hazel says. ‘Where am I supposed to sleep?’ [[‘The sofa in the living room is pretty serviceable.’|haz1.1][$talk to 1]] [[‘I think my room has a bed in it. I can crash on the floor.’|haz1.1][$talk to 2]] [[‘There’s always Dad’s room…’|haz1.1][$talk to 3]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘Great,’ she says, rolling her eyes. ‘Can’t wait to wake up with corduroy marks on my face. And probably lice.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘That’s nice of you,’ she says, ‘but I can’t make you give up your bed. Not permanently, anyway. Maybe we can draw up a rota.’ <<elseif $talk == 3>> ‘Don’t even think about it,’ she says, scowling. ‘You couldn’t pay me to sleep there. But I’ll happily take your room if you fancy it.’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> Hazel crouches down and starts rummaging through the boxes, tossing catalogues and old receipts onto the floor. She’s muttering to herself as she does it, swearing under her breath. You aren’t sure whether you should help her or stop her. After a few minutes of this she gets to her feet, visibly unhappy. ‘For fuck’s sake,’ she says. ‘None of my stuff is here. None of it. He must have chucked it all. Can you believe that, $pcname?’ [[‘Of course I can. He never gave a toss about us, Haze.’|haz1.2][$talk to 1]] [[‘What did you expect him to do? Keep it here like a shrine?’|haz1.2][$talk to 2]] [[‘I don’t know what to say.’|haz1.2][$talk to 3]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> <<fair_plus "$hazapp" +10>> ‘No, he didn’t,’ she says, sighing. ‘But hey, we’re still here. He’s not. I suppose we can give a toss about each other now, eh?’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> <<fair_plus "$hazapp" -10>> ‘No,’ she says, looking hurt. ‘But I didn’t expect him to wipe me from the face of the earth, either. I thought you of all people would understand that.’ <<elseif $talk == 3>> ‘Don’t worry about it,’ she says, shrugging. ‘Never mind. I don’t know what I expected.’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> Hazel squats down again, and starts sorting through the piles of boxes in a more methodical fashion. ‘We always used to have a camp bed, remember, for when Uncle Don visited? Maybe it’s still around here somewhere…’ <<if $talk == 1>> You help her look for it, shifting your dad’s rubbish out of the way. It’s a fruitless task—probably stowed away in the loft—but at least Hazel’s laughing again by the time you’ve given up. Your relationship with Hazel has improved <<elseif $talk == 2>> You leave her to it. She’s clearly still upset with you, and it’s probably best to give her some space right now. Your relationship with Hazel has been damaged <<elseif $talk == 3>> You think you remember the camp bed being kept in the loft, and so you go in search for it while Hazel roots around in the bedroom. It’s there, if extremely dusty, and she seems grateful when you carry it down. The two of you haven’t fallen out, at least. Your relationship with Hazel is unchanged <<else>> BUG <</if>> [[Return|base]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<set $talk to 0>> It’s surprisingly nerve-wracking, getting ready to open up $pubname for the first time as its proprietor. You and Hazel don’t talk much as you get the place ready; wiping down tables, checking the kegs in the cellar, familiarising yourself with the new PubMaster™ till system. She plays it cool, your sister, but you can tell she’s just as jittery as you are. At seven o’clock you unlock the doors, and brace yourself for an influx of customers. That’s how you remember it, when you were younger; Dad would open up, and dozens of regulars would spill in, gasping for their first pint of the evening. So it’s anticlimactic—to put it mildly—when no one comes in at all. Hazel cranes her neck from behind the bar, frowning at the open door. ‘Is that it, then?’ your sister says. ‘All of that effort for nothing?’ [[‘Keep the faith. It’s still early.’|firstnight2][$talk to 1]] [[‘I knew this was a mistake.’|firstnight2][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘I don’t think a positive mental attitude is going to save us, $pcname,’ she says. ‘This is a joke.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘So did I,’ she says. ‘Why are we here, again? Are we actually mad?’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> It’s almost an hour before the first punter arrives. You’re playing cards with Hazel when the door swings open, and you drop your hand as you turn to see who’s walked in. You recognise the old fella trundling towards the bar—Murphy, one of the pub’s longstanding regulars. Same wind-burned face, same flat cap, same rolling gait. You’ve not seen him in over a decade, but he looks just the same. Murphy pulls up a stool by the bar, gives you both a curt nod. ‘Orright?’ he grunts. ‘Heard you two were taking the old place over. Didn’t credit it at the time, mind. Since you weren’t at the funeral, and all.’ [[‘It’s good to see you, Murphy. How are things?’|firstnight3][$talk to 1]] [[‘Well, it’s true. The old man left it to us. We’re just as surprised as you, honestly.’|firstnight3][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘Can’t complain,’ he says. ‘Better now the pub’s open again. It’s not the same, getting beer from the Spar. Not the same at all.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘None of my business,’ he says, not meeting your eye. ‘Just here for a pint. Didn’t mean no offence.’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> ‘Usual, then?’ Hazel asks him, holding a glass tankard up to the taps. Murphy nods. You’re not surprised that Hazel still remembers his order, after all these years—so do you. The two of you were often drafted in to run the bar after school, pulling pints that you were too young to legally drink. Smell of cigarette smoke. Sound of clacking dominoes. Same anecdotes told over and over. Those things stick in your head. A few more locals wander in over the course of the evening, but it’s a quiet night overall. The lack of custom is worrying. If things don’t pick up over the next few weeks, you’ll never be able to find a buyer for the pub. And if you don’t, you’ll be stuck with it, and if you can’t pay the freehold… well. Best not think about that right now. It’s the end of the night. [[Call last orders.|endnight]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<set $time += 1>> <<fair_plus "$handy" +5>> <<if $brass == 1>> You spend an hour helping Alex to put up some new shelves in the shop, adjusting the angle while they peer at the bubble in a spirit level. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 2>> You spend some time helping Alex to sand down an antique table they found at a flea market. They’re planning to use it for a new till point in the shop. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 3>> Alex is stripping wallpaper today, and you help them peel off the old sheets. It’s satisfying work, especially when you get a strip to come away in one piece. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 4>> Alex is busy mending an old clock, and they talk you through what they’re doing as they take the mechanism apart and reassemble it. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 5>> Alex has bought a second hand chest of drawers from someone in the village, and you help them select and fit new handles to replace the tarnished old ones. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 6>> Alex is fixing a loose floorboard in the shop when you arrive, and while you can’t do much to help you keep them company while they nail it firmly back in place. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 7>> You spend some time helping Alex to hang some curtains, passing them hooks from the bottom of the ladder while they attach the new fabric to the rail. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 8>> Alex is in the middle of a new project, making a custom shelving unit from reclaimed wood, and you watch with interest as they carefully measure and cut the material to shape. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 9>> Alex is reupholstering an old footstool today, and they let you use the staple gun to fit the new fabric in place. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 10>> You spend some time helping Alex polish up a set of silver candlesticks they bought online for a song. When you’re finished they gleam like they’re brand new. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 11>> There’s a minor leak in one of the shop’s pipes, and you help Alex while they turn off the water and fix it up. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 12>> One of the tables in the shop is a bit wonky, and you help Alex to measure and fix a small disc of wood to one of its legs to straighten it out. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 13>> Alex is rewiring a broken lamp, and the two of you chat while they replace the cable and fix a new bulb. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 14>> Alex is painting a new sign for the front of the shop, and you help them to peel away the stencils to reveal the elegant lettering beneath. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 15>> You help Alex to caulk up some holes in the wall of the stockroom, as they’re paranoid about mice getting in and scaring off the customers. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 16>> Alex is hanging a new door today, and you give them a hand carefully removing the old one from its hinges. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 17>> Alex is painting the back office today, and you help them roll a tasteful sage green colour onto the walls. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 18>> Alex is busy upcycling an old bookshelf today, and they show you how to stick wallpaper to the back panels to give the piece a new lease of life. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 19>> Alex is fitting new doors to a cabinet today, and you hold them steady while they carefully oil the hinges. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 20>> A customer in the shop has accidentally broken a large terracotta vase, and you and Alex spend a surprisingly meditative hour sticking it back together. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 21>> Alex is busy restoring an old drinks cabinet, and you help them polish the old brass fittings up to a high shine. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 22>> You find Alex in the middle of fitting new carpet in the back office. They’re clearly struggling on their own, but once you step in to help the two of you make short work of the task. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 23>> You and Alex have a cup of tea in their office, and they talk you through the renovation plans they have for their small flat in the village. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 24>> Alex is tidying up the front of the shop today, and you help them plant fragrant lavender and rosemary in the window boxes. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 25>> Alex is hanging some new artwork in the shop today, and you give them a hand tapping in the nails and making sure the pictures aren’t wonky. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 26>> You spend a pleasant hour helping Alex to select paint samples for a new consulting room in the back of the shop. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 27>> Alex is struggling to shift a particularly heavy table upstairs when you arrive, and you step in to give them a hand with it. Eventually you manage to manoeuvre the hefty piece into place. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 28>> You spend some time assisting Alex with a reupholstery project, recovering an old bench in a stylish blue corduroy material. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 29>> You give Alex a hand switching out some of the lighting in the shop, hanging spider lights above the till area. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<elseif $brass == 30>> Alex is in the middle of stripping the paint off an old wardrobe, and you step in to help. Hard to believe that anyone ever thought that shade of mauve was a good idea. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <<else>> You spend some time helping Alex with various DIY projects in the shop. Your Fixer Upper skill has increased <</if>> [[Return|diyshop]] <<set $brass += 1>> <>

<> <<if $talk ==1>> ‘Hey,’ you say, taking a step closer. ‘What’s the problem?’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> You need to know a bit more about what’s going on before you decide to embroil yourself in this situation. Better to shut up and listen for now. <<else>> BUG <</if>> ‘It’s a <<multi $dotw>>Monday,’|Tuesday,’|Wednesday,’|Thursday,’|Friday,’|Saturday,’|Sunday,’|BUG<</multi>> Murphy says. ‘George always took bets on a <<multi $dotw>>Monday.’|Tuesday.’|Wednesday.’|Thursday.’|Friday.’|Saturday.’|Sunday.’|BUG<</multi>> Oh, God. You know what this is about. Your father always liked to have a flutter on the horses, and occasionally had a sideline as an amateur bookmaker. Seems like he turned it into a regular event after you left home. It’s then that Hazel sees you hovering nearby. Your sister turns to face you, her eyes bright with irritation. ‘$pcname,’ she says, ‘will you tell him? We’re in enough shit trying to keep this place afloat. I’m not starting an illegal gambling ring on top of everything else.’ ‘Oh, you’re making a mountain out of a molehill,’ Murphy scoffs, waving away her concern. ‘No one round here cares about that sort of thing.’ They’re both staring you down now, waiting for a response. [[Stay out of it. You don’t need to get involved.|hazarg3][$talk to 1]] [[Try to diffuse the tension. This could get ugly. (Gift of the Gab)|hazarg3][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘Sorry,’ you say, ‘I’m a bit busy right now. I’m sure the two of you can figure something out.’ ‘Oh $pcname, that is such a cop out.’ Hazel rolls her eyes at you, but doesn’t seem too perturbed by your refusal to partake in the argument. ‘Give me a tenner on Meat Raffle,’ Murphy says, slapping a note on the bar. ‘Go on, kid. For old time’s sake.’ ‘Do I look like John McCririck? Do you see a deerstalker on my head? Am I smoking a big cigar?’ ‘Fine, fine. Spoilsport.’ You leave them to their bickering and retreat back to the office. Doesn’t seem like any lasting harm has been done, at least, and the rest of the evening passes quietly enough. Your relationship with Hazel is unchanged <<elseif ($talk == 2) and ($banter gte 25)>> <<fair_plus "$hazapp" +10>> ‘How about this,’ you say, holding out your hands. ‘If you need to bet on something, Murphy, let’s at least make it interesting. And legal. Straight dominoes. One game. Winner gives the loser twenty quid.’ Hazel raises her eyebrows, intrigued. ‘Okay. I could get into that. Murphy?’ ‘Might as well give me that twenty now,’ he says. ‘But I’ll give you a fair run at it.’ You fetch the box of dominoes from the cubbyhole where the dusty board games are kept, and mind the bar while the two of them start laying their tiles. It’s a lively game, and their earlier acrimony soon turns into friendly competition. Murphy, being a bloke in his seventies who’s been playing dominoes since before Hazel was born, clearly thinks he has the win in the bag—but you know better. You and Hazel grew up bored in a pub, after all. The two of you were dominoes grandmasters by the age of twelve. Sure enough, Hazel takes the game, and she even manages to resist gloating when Murphy begrudgingly hands over her winnings. She catches your eye after that, gives you a nod. Grateful for your intervention. Your relationship with Hazel has improved <<elseif ($talk ==2)>> <<fair_plus "$hazapp" -10>> ‘Woah, woah,’ you say, putting your hands up. ‘Guys. Maybe we should all just… calm down a bit?’ ‘Calm down?’ Hazel says, scowling. ‘Thought you’d be on my side here, $pcname.’ ‘It’s not that I’m not,’ you say, ‘it’s just—’ ‘$pcname agrees with me,’ Murphy says, puffing his chest out triumphantly. ‘Following in your father’s footsteps, that one.’ ‘Oh, I certainly hope not.’ There’s a sharp edge in your sister’s voice. ‘I really, really hope not.’ You try to smooth things over, but you’re too flustered to get your words out properly and neither Hazel nor Murphy seem happy with your efforts. Eventually you bow out and retreat back to the office, your tail between your legs. Your relationship with Hazel has been damaged <<else>> BUG <</if>> [[Call last orders.|endnight]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<if $talk ==1>> You watch the darts fans milling about near the spill, and wonder what the collective noun for a group of pub regulars is. A pouring? A round? <<elseif $talk == 2>> You open the door to the cleaning cupboard and rummage around for a while. Eventually you find the mop behind a cardboard cutout of Bruce Forsyth, which your father owned for some inexplicable reason. <<else>> BUG <</if>> <<multi $talk>>Before Hazel can return with the mop,|Just when you step back onto the bar,|BUG<</multi>> another small disaster occurs. One of the regulars, a tall bloke called Pete, peels off from the group to head towards the toilets. Before he can take two steps he’s slipped on the spilled beer and gone flying, hitting the floor with a nasty thud. ‘Shit,’ Hazel says. ‘That didn’t sound good.’ Pete’s sitting up, at least, but he’s clutching his knee and grimacing in pain. [[It’s just a bump, you’re sure. He’ll be fine.|slip3][$talk to 1]] [[He might be hurt. You should see if he’s alright. (Helping Hands)|slip3][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> You don’t need to fuss over a minor injury like that, do you? Besides, if you make a big deal out of it Pete might take you to small claims court or something, and your bank account wouldn’t recover from that. Pete limps off to the bathroom, and you discreetly mop up the rest of the spilled beer before there’s a repeat incident. The regulars are distracted by the darts again and don’t make any comment on what’s happened. Not your finest hour, perhaps, but at least no one got hurt—well. At least no one got hurt too badly. $pubname’s reputation is unchanged <<elseif ($talk == 2) and ($firstaid gte 25)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" +10>> You know what to do here. Pulling a clean towel from the box under the bar, you scoop some ice into it before heading towards Pete. ‘You okay?’ you ask, holding out your hand to him. ‘Come on, sit here…’ You help Pete onto a chair and pull out a stool so he can keep his leg elevated. He presses the ice pack to his knee, sighing with relief. ‘That’s better,’ he says. ‘Thanks, kid. I’ll be grand in a minute.’ Your quick thinking earns a few approving nods from the regulars, and you make sure to mop up the spill before there can be a repeat incident. $pubname’s reputation has improved <<elseif ($talk ==2)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" -10>> ‘Don’t worry, Pete!’ you call. ‘I’m coming!’ You grab the first aid kit from under the bar, dash out the hero you are—and promptly slip in the spilled beer, bashing hard into Pete as you do so. Pete howls in pain, shrinking away from you as you clamber to your feet. ‘Sorry, sorry,’ you say. ‘I’ve got some bandages in here if you—’ ‘Don’t even try it,’ Pete says, getting gingerly to his feet. ‘Bloody hell. This place is a death trap.’ He limps out of the pub, cursing under his breath. A few regulars tut in disapproval as you slink back towards the bar, beer-soaked and sore. $pubname’s reputation has been damaged <<else>> BUG <</if>> [[Call last orders.|endnight]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<set _beerName to $beersmap[$beerlost].name>> <<if $talk ==1>> Murphy grunts. ‘Sarcasm’s the lowest form of wit, kid.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘Hurry up, then,’ he says. ‘Sounds like that sister of yours has got herself in a pickle.’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> You rush down the stairs to the cellar, where you find Hazel standing over a toppled keg of <<if _beerName != "IPA">><<= _beerName.toLowerCase()>><<else>>_beerName<</if>>. There’s a large dent in the side, and foam is fizzing out of the half-open cap. There’s already a puddle of booze on the floor, and it’s growing larger by the second. You can almost see the pound coins spilling out onto the concrete. ‘I just knocked it,’ Hazel says. ‘And now I can’t get it back on. What do I do, $pcname?’ [[‘No idea. Panic?’|beerlost3][$talk to 1]] [[‘Don’t panic. I know what to do.’ (Fixer Upper)|beerlost3][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<set _beerName to $beersmap[$beerlost].name>> <<if $talk == 1>> <<set $beersmap[$beerlost].units -= 50>> ‘Oh, brilliant,’ Hazel says. ‘Very helpful. Shit.’ Hazel whips out her phone and starts typing into it furiously. Within seconds she has pulled up a video about how to salvage a dropped keg—thank you internet—and props it up for you to watch. There’s a full minute of unskippable ads before the helpful part begins. Between you, with the sage guidance of BeerGuy74, you eventually manage to stem the flow of liquid and fit the coupler safely back to the keg. You’ve lost about half of its contents by then, and the cellar is a mess, but at least you managed to salvage something. ‘I’ll mop this up,’ Hazel says, looking a little sheepish now. ‘Sorry, $pcname.’ You have lost 50 units of <<if _beerName != "IPA">><<= _beerName.toLowerCase()>><<else>>_beerName<</if>> <<elseif ($talk == 2) and ($handy gte 25)>> <<set $beersmap[$beerlost].units -= 5>> Luckily, your claim isn’t just bravado. You actually do know what to do in this situation. Calmly, you give Hazel instructions on how to assist you, carefully righting the keg and stemming the flow of liquid before fitting the coupler securely to the tap. The whole process is quick and smooth, with fairly minimal wastage. ‘My hero,’ Hazel says, smiling weakly at you. ‘Thanks, $pcname. That could have been a lot worse, eh? I’ll mop this up.’ You only lost 5 units of <<if _beerName != "IPA">><<= _beerName.toLowerCase()>><<else>>_beerName<</if>> <<elseif ($talk ==2)>> <<set $beersmap[$beerlost].units -= 100>> Unfortunately, that claim is just bravado. You have no idea what to do in this situation. It feels imperative to get the keg back upright, so you set your shoulder to it and attempt to tip it upwards. Unfortunately you misjudge the force required and send it clanging down onto its other side. The force of the impact must break the seal, because soon <<if _beerName != "IPA">><<= _beerName.toLowerCase()>><<else>>_beerName<</if>> is spraying everywhere—all over the cellar, and you, and your sister. ‘Shit!’ Hazel cries, jumping out of range. ‘$pcname, for God’s sake! “Don’t panic, I know what to do.” Look at this mess!’ You look at the mess. There’s a lot of it. Your hopes of salvaging the remainder of the <<if _beerName != "IPA">><<= _beerName.toLowerCase()>><<else>>_beerName<</if>> fade away as it soaks through your shoes. You have lost an entire 100-unit keg of <<if _beerName != "IPA">><<= _beerName.toLowerCase()>><<else>>_beerName<</if>> <<else>> BUG <</if>> [[Call last orders.|endnight]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<set $talk to 0>> <<run $storylets.delete("shirl1")>> /* <<set $storylets.push("shirl2")>> */ You’re about an hour into your shift, chatting idly with Hazel behind the bar, when Big Shirl comes bustling into the pub. She’s dressed to the nines as always, in a sequinned jacket, winklepicker heels and bright crimson lipstick. Turning heads even now—especially Murphy’s, who looks like his eyes might pop out like a cartoon’s. ‘Look at you both!’ Shirl says, clutching her hands to her chest as she approaches the bar. ‘What a sight for sore eyes. Your father would’ve been so proud to see the two of you here.’ ‘Don’t bet on it,’ Hazel says, coming out from behind the bar to give Shirl a hug. ‘It’s good to see you, Auntie Shirl. How’s the most glamorous diva in the village?’ ‘Oh I’m fine, sweetheart, ticking over as per. And how about you, my darling? You still a lesbian?’ ‘Yes, Auntie Shirl, I’m still a lesbian.’ ‘That’s nice,’ she says, giving Hazel’s shoulder a squeeze. ‘Our Sandra’s youngest is a lesbian, you know. You should add her on Facebook.’ Hazel catches your eye across the bar, mouths ‘Facebook’. [[‘Can I get you a drink, Auntie Shirl?’|shirl1.2][$talk to 1]] [[‘Who else should Hazel add on Facebook, Auntie Shirl?’|shirl1.2][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<set $talk to 0>> <<run $storylets.delete("alex1")>> /* <<set $storylets.push("alex2")>> */ The door to the pub swings open midway through the evening, and Alex from Brass Tacks wanders into the parlour. They smile when they notice Hazel, who smiles brightly in return and waves them over to the bar. ‘Alex! $pcname told me you were back here. On purpose. Are you mad?’ ‘Nice to see you too, Hazel. How’s tricks?’ ‘Been worse. Been much, much better. Do you want to buy a pub?’ Alex laughs. ‘I’ve already got enough debt from doing up one place. But thanks for the offer.’ ‘Coward. If you’re already in financial shit, what does it matter? Take one for the team.’ [[Leave them to their teasing.|alex1.2][$talk to 1]] [[Join in the chat.|alex1.2][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<set $talk to 0>> <<run $storylets.delete("ravi1")>> /* <<set $storylets.push("ravi2")>> */ You’re standing with Hazel at the end of the bar, polishing glasses, when Ravi walks into the pub. He wanders over with his hands in his pockets, smiling as he looks around the room. A memory pops into your head; you and Ravi and Hazel playing tag in the beer garden, the smokers tutting as you raced past their tables. ‘Hey,’ you call over. ‘Good to see you.’ ‘You too,’ he says. ‘It’s so funny being back here. Haven’t seen the inside of this place since we were kids. Alright, Hazel? How’s things?’ Your sister nods back. ‘Living nightmare. How are you?’ ‘Yeah, not bad, not bad.’ He pulls up a stool by the bar. ‘Man. Feel like I’m about seven years old again. Weird. Must be even weirder for you guys, right?’ [[‘I’m getting used to it.’|ravi1.2][$talk to 1]] [[‘It is so weird.’|ravi1.2][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk ==1>> ‘Oh I’d love one,’ she says, pulling up a stool at the bar. ‘Make it a spritzer, though, sweetheart. Booze goes right to my head these days.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘I’m not sure off the top of my head,’ she says. ‘I’ll have a think and let you know.’ Hazel gives you a discreet thump on the arm as she walks back behind the bar. <<else>> BUG <</if>> A few more customers arrive then, and you and Hazel busy yourselves serving them for a while. Once they’ve gone to find seats Big Shirl beckons you over and insists that you tell her everything—what you’ve been doing since you left Otterley, what your plans for the pub are now you’re back. Hazel gives you a sideways look—she knows that you haven’t yet told Shirl that the two of you are planning to sell up. [[Let Hazel do the talking.|shirl1.3][$talk to 1]] [[Distract Shirl with gossip. (Gift of the Gab)|shirl1.3][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> You gesture towards Hazel, ceding the floor to your sister. A brief look of irritation flashes across her face, but she manages to compose herself before turning back to Big Shirl. ‘We’re still deciding, really,’ she says. ‘Getting our bearings, you know?’ ‘Yeah,’ Shirl says, nodding sympathetically. ‘It must be a lot to take in, pet. Well, don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll turn this place into a proper little goldmine. That’s what the village needs, you know? Young energy. Liven up the place.’ ‘Well, we do have that,’ Hazel says, her smile strained. ‘Top up, Auntie Shirl?’ Your sister manages to keep Shirl preoccupied for the remainder of the evening, and you manage to finish the night without having to admit that you don’t intend to be in Otterley that much longer. Once Shirl has left, Hazel tells you that you owe her for covering your arse. $pubname’s reputation is unchanged <<elseif ($talk == 2) and ($banter gte 25)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" +5>> ‘Auntie Shirl,’ you say, leaning over the bar in a conspiratorial fashion. ‘Do you know what I saw the other day?’ ‘No,’ she says, eyes gleaming. ‘What’s that, love?’ ‘I saw Barry—you know Barry, from the post office?—bombing past the village green in some swish little Audi. Where’s he gotten the money for that, do you reckon?’ ‘Well,’ Shirl says, taking the bait, ‘I heard from Peggy—you know Peggy, from the bowls club?—that Barry’s been flashing his cash all over the village recently. Peggy reckons he’s involved in something fishy. Fraud, perhaps. Or drugs. Though I did hear he and Margaret released some equity on the house—but no, it’s probably drugs.’ Bless Shirl and her theories. No Occam’s Razor for her. This little tidbit keeps her occupied for the rest of the evening, and soon other regulars are coming over to weigh in on Barry and his criminal empire. The subject of your future at the pub doesn’t come up again. $pubname’s reputation has slightly improved <<elseif ($talk ==2)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" -5>> ‘Shirl,’ you say, affecting what you hope is a mysterious look. ‘I’ve heard some interesting news, you know. Something… intriguing.’ ‘Oh?’ she says, arching a well-plucked eyebrow. ‘What’s that?’ ‘I—um—’ Shit. You can’t actually summon any potential gossip to mind. Really must pay better attention. ‘The, uh… the butcher seems to have… bought new curtains?’ ‘Oh. Right.’ Shirl blinks at you, unimpressed. ‘Enough about that, anyway. Tell me about you. About the pub. Your dad always had high hopes for it, you know. Always wanted to keep it in the family.’ ‘Yeah,’ you say weakly. ‘I know. Sorry, Shirl, I’ve got to… do something in the back.’ You scarper, cringing at how badly you managed to fumble that conversation. You can’t put Shirl off forever—she’s an influential figure in the village, and not one you want to upset. When you creep back to the bar half an hour later Shirl has left, along with a few other regulars. $pubname’s reputation has been slightly damaged <<else>> BUG <</if>> [[Call last orders.|endnight]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<if $talk ==1>> Alex and Hazel are old friends, and you figure you might as well leave them to catch up. You take over serving at the bar for a while so Hazel can take a break and they can get reacquainted. It’s nice that Hazel has someone else here, apart from you. Your sister is a far lonelier person than she’d ever deign to admit. After an hour or so, Alex gestures for you to come over and hands you a small Brass Tacks gift bag. <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘Yeah Alex,’ you say, ganging up with Hazel in what you hope is a non-threatening manner. ‘What’s the point in all of us getting whacked by loan sharks? Not very community-minded of you.’ Alex snorts out a laugh. ‘I don’t think Otterley has loan sharks. Loan sardines, maybe. Loan minnows.’ The three of you chat amiably for a while, and then Alex makes an ‘oh!’ sound like they’ve just remembered something important. They take a small Brass Tacks gift bag from their rucksack and hand it to you. <<else>> BUG <</if>> ‘Here,’ they say. ‘For giving me a hand in the shop that time. Got a free sample from a supplier, thought you could use it.’ You lift a small metal canister from the bag. It’s black, with a spray nozzle and some elegant silver writing in… French? Probably French. [[‘I’m so sorry, but I have no idea what this is.’|alex1.3][$talk to 1]] [[‘Thanks Alex! I’ll use this right now.’ (Fixer Upper)|alex1.3][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘Oh,’ Alex says, looking slightly crestfallen. ‘Sorry. Shouldn’t have assumed. Do you have a dry cloth?’ You fetch one and hand it to Alex, who takes the canister back from you and sprays a little bit on the top of the bar. They rub the wet patch thoroughly with the cloth then lift it up, showing a small circle of buffed, shining wood beneath. ‘It’s wood polish,’ they say. ‘Nice stuff, too.’ ‘Oh,’ you say, a little embarrassed. ‘Well. Thanks for that. I’ll use it later. Cheers.’ You stow the canister in the cleaning cupboard, unwilling to risk betraying any further ignorance by trying to use it in front of Alex. You’d probably spray it in your eye by mistake, or eat it on toast or something. You’ll give it a go later. Without an audience. $pubname’s reputation is unchanged <<elseif ($talk == 2) and ($handy gte 25)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" +5>> It’s wood polish—nice stuff, too. There’s tons of exposed wood in the pub, and this will bring it up a treat. Eager to try it out, you fetch a dry cloth and spray an even coat on the surface of the bar. After a few minutes of careful buffing the wood looks brand new, dark and rich and gleaming. ‘Look at that!’ Hazel says. ‘Fancy. Does it work on eye bags?’ ‘That’s looking great,’ Alex says, pleased. ‘I’ve got more if you need it, too. Couple of coats of that and those tables will come up lovely.’ You thank Alex for the gift, and they stay for a couple of drinks before heading back home. $pubname’s reputation has slightly improved <<elseif ($talk ==2)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" -5>> It’s room spray, right? Fancy room spray. Like air freshener. Right? You lift up the canister and spray a cloud of it into the parlour. You realise you have made a mistake almost instantly, when the smell of solvents hits your nose and your eyes begin to burn. ‘No, no!’ Alex says, jumping back from the bar and covering their mouth and nose with a hand. ‘It’s wood polish, $pcname. It’s for the bar.’ Oh. Whoops. Unfortunately the strong-smelling spray has now reached a group of regulars, who cough and splutter as they breathe it in. ‘Nice one, genius,’ Hazel says, slapping you on the back. ‘Easy mistake to make,’ Alex says, smiling weakly. ‘I’ll try and remember to include instructions next time. Just in case.’ You place the canister back in the bag and retreat to the back office. Hopefully your desk fan will be able to clear some of the fumes. $pubname’s reputation has been slightly damaged <<else>> BUG <</if>> [[Call last orders.|endnight]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<if $talk ==1>> ‘We can only hope,’ Hazel says. ‘Though I wouldn’t mind not waiting thirty years, if that’s an option.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘Like hell I am,’ she says. ‘Sing? In front of all these people? Nah mate. Forget it.’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> After Shirl finishes her song—to rapturous applause—other people start queueing to sign up. Over the next few hours you hear numerous performances of wildly variable quality, from an eardrum-piercing attempt at Mariah Carey’s ‘Emotions’ to a genuinely barnstorming ‘I Will Survive’. The draw of karaoke has had a positive impact on trade, and you and Hazel are kept busy behind the bar all evening. It’s enough to put you in high spirits for once, and you even catch yourselves mouthing along to ‘Dancing Queen’ when it makes its inevitable appearance. Near the end of the night Shirl comes up to the bar, microphone in hand, and brandishes it towards you. ‘C’mon then,’ she says. ‘Your turn. What’ll it be? [[‘No, no, no. Absolutely not. No.’|karaoke1.3][$talk to 1]] [[‘I’m Too Sexy. Right Said Fred. Let’s do this.’ (Gift of the Gab)|karaoke1.3][$talk to 2]] [[‘Our House. Madness. And my sister’s coming with me.’ (Hazel)|karaoke1.3][$talk to 3]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘Oh. Really?’ Big Shirl looks crestfallen. ‘Well, that’s a real shame, I’ve got to say. People expect the landlord to get stuck in, kid.’ You apologise to Shirl for bowing out and she takes the microphone on to the next wannabe crooner, a student who breaks into—of course—‘Wonderwall’. ‘Almost wish you had gone up now,’ Hazel says, grimacing. ‘Would have saved us from this. But at least you didn’t drive all the punters away with your yowling.’ The evening starts to wind down after that and, while the pub’s been a little busier than usual, you don’t get the impression that many of these new customers will be returning. $pubname’s reputation is unchanged <<elseif ($talk == 2) and ($banter gte 25)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" +10>> <<set $punters.push("student")>> ‘That’s the spirit,’ Shirl says, flashing you a wide smile. ‘Give them a show, kid.’ You jog up to the makeshift stage, mic in hand, while Shirl programs the machine. When the first notes play a few people whoop in recognition, and you prepare yourself to work some magic. You are too sexy. It does hurt. Your singing voice might not get you on X Factor, but boy do you sell it. You belt out the lyrics. You work the audience. You do your little turn and yes, by God, you shake your little tush. Your shirt stays on—this is <<multi $dotw>>Monday|Tuesday|Wednesday|Thursday|Friday|Saturday|Sunday|BUG<</multi>> night karaoke, not Berghain—but the crowd goes wild anyway. They’re still clapping when you hand back the mic and return to the bar, where Hazel is almost doubled up laughing. ‘That was brilliant,’ she says. ‘Think you might have just put this place on the map, $pcname. Nice one.’ $pubname’s reputation has improved, and you have attracted new customers to the pub <<elseif ($talk == 2)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" -10>> ‘Oh, wow,’ Shirl says. ‘That’s a bold choice. Alright then, kid. Get up there.’ Hazel buries her face in her hands. ‘I can’t watch this,’ she says. ‘I just can’t.’ Ignoring your sister and her damning lack of faith, you stride up to the makeshift stage and launch into the song. A bit too quickly, actually—the music hasn’t even started yet. Shirl gestures for you to zip it, and you stand awkwardly for a moment before the music kicks in. This time, you’re a beat too late, but you can’t be bothered to start again. You just go with it. You’re too sexy, right? You’re a model? Aren’t you? Perhaps not. Your attempts at a few sultry dance moves are clumsy, and at one point you almost knock the karaoke machine off its stand. The audience are watching you closely, but you have the distinct impression that they’re doing so in horror, not awe. Once it’s done there’s some scattered applause, and you return to the bar feeling like you might have driven these new customers away for good. $pubname’s reputation has been damaged <<elseif ($talk == 3) and ($hazapp gte 30)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" +10>> <<set $punters.push("student")>> ‘Oh, that’s a smashing idea!’ Shirl says, clapping her hands together. ‘I’ll fetch another microphone.’ ‘I can’t believe you—oh, fine,’ Hazel says, grinning. ‘Why not? Might be fun.’ The crowd applauds you and your sister as you take your places on the makeshift stage. When the music starts you begin to move almost in sync, shuffling your feet and twisting your shoulders to the beat. You must have listened to this song a million times when you were kids. It’s in your bones. The karaoke machine isn’t even necessary in the end—you both still know all the words, and instinctively know which of you will sing each part. When you both launch into the bridge, not missing a word of the fast-paced lyrics, the crowd bursts into whoops and cheers. It’s the performance of the night, without question. When it’s over you and Hazel join hands and take a bow, and several punters offer to buy you drinks. ‘That went better than I thought it would,’ your sister says later. ‘Thanks for making me do it, $pcname.’ $pubname’s reputation has improved, and you have attracted new customers to the pub <<elseif ($talk == 3)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" -10>> ‘What?’ Hazel says, alarmed. ‘No. No, no—’ But Shirl is already dragging you both to the stage, pressing a second microphone into Hazel’s hand. Your sister looks like she wants to skin you alive. By the time it’s dawned on you that this was a terrible idea, the music has already started. The next three and a half minutes are beyond excruciating. Hazel is stiff and wooden, clearly wanting to be anywhere else, and you’re off-key and out of time. The audience watch in stony silence. There’s a nauseating miasma of second-hand embarrassment in the room as every punter in $pubname watches you and your sister die on your arses. The second the music finishes Hazel gives her microphone back to Shirl and stomps off towards the bar. You follow shortly afterwards, cringing at the faint, scattered applause. ‘Never do that to me again,’ Hazel hisses. ‘I am categorically not opposed to fratricide. Understand?’ You do. That was a terrible idea, and everyone in the room knows it. $pubname’s reputation has been damaged <<else>> BUG <</if>> [[Call last orders.|endnight]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>

<> <<set $time += 1>> <<fair_plus "$banter" +5>> <<if $natter == 1>> Shirl makes you a cuppa and catches you up on the adventures of her wayward daughter, Bernice. Last Shirl heard, Bernice was travelling in Colombia with ‘some fella she met at Boomtown, whatever that is’. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 2>> Shirl tells you an amusing anecdote about the local vicar, who has apparently just been given another three points on his license after speeding through a red light in his Range Rover. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 3>> You and Shirl discuss the latest goings-on at the WI, including a power struggle between the aspiring and incumbent chairs that seems positively Machiavellian. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 4>> Shirl fills you in on all the gossip relating to the upcoming council elections—namely that the Lib Dem candidate had to step down after receiving an undeclared gift hamper from a local farm shop. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 5>> Shirl gives you the latest on Steve and Karen, a local couple whose dramatic love life has been a source of much gossip for decades. Recently Karen filed for divorce, but withdrew the papers after Steve had ‘I Love You Karen’ painted on a billboard by the dual carriageway. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 6>> You tell Shirl about some of your friends in London, particularly the exploits of your old flatmate, who used to play Big Band music until four in the morning and ran a boutique pickled onion company out of your shared kitchen. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 7>> You and Shirl reminisce about old times, and she leaves you crying with laughter after regaling you with some forgotten stories about you and Hazel getting into trouble as kids. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 8>> Shirl tells you a story about her neighbour, Maureen, who is currently engaged in a long-running feud over garden gnomes with another neighbour, Paul. Shirl says you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 9>> Shirl informs you that Brian, the local breakfast show host, has faced criticism for cosying up with the owner of the carvery near the retail park, who has apparently received free advertising in exchange for Brain getting a double serving of beef topside when he visits. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 10>> You and Shirl talk about a few of your cousins, who you haven’t seen in years but Shirl keeps tabs on via Facebook. Apparently Emily has dropped out of her geography degree, and is now involved in some sort of pyramid scheme selling detox supplements. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 11>> Shirl vents to you about some issues she’s having with a client, an over-the-hill magician who’s losing his touch. Apparently she booked him for a children’s birthday party last week, and he caused a small riot when it took him the best part of two hours to retrieve the birthday girl’s rabbit from his hat. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 12>> Shirl tells you all the latest about the ongoing planning permission woes of Jacinta Hyde, Otterley’s poshest resident. Apparently her application for a second conservatory has been denied three times, and she’s now threatening to take the case to the European Commission for Human Rights (though it’s unclear on what grounds). Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 13>> Big Shirl has recently had her acrylics done, and she tells you all about her the ongoing dating issues of Janine, her nail tech. Apparently the last bloke she went out with was over an hour late, and disappeared from the restaurant before the bill arrived. Janine has decided to get a budgie instead. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 14>> Big Shirl is on the phone when you arrive, and when she hangs up she tells you that she was just speaking to her friend Zainab, who told her that Face-Tat Danny has just had his last session of laser removal (presumably from now on he’ll just be known as Danny). Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 15>> Big Shirl tells you an anecdote about Linda down the road, who has been on a journey of self-discovery since leaving her husband two years ago. Apparently she’s recently been taking salsa dance classes, and has been insisting on practicing in her kitchen with everyone who pops round—the postman included. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 16>> Shirl brings you up to speed on the latest drama from the bowls club, where there are seemingly more affairs and backstabbings than a soap opera, despite most of the players being in their eighties. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 17>> Shirl tells you that she recently managed to talk Murphy out of spending most of his life savings on a dodgy hair transplant procedure. She assured him that ‘thinning is the new thick’, and apparently he seemed pleased enough with that. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 18>> Shirl tells you that she’s pretty sure that the woman who’s moved into the barn conversion on the far side of town is some sort of celebrity. She is either, Shirl says, a member of a nineties pop group, or one of the Loose Women. Or perhaps both. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 19>> When you pop round Shirl tells you a story about the inexplicably-named Alan Cannan, a lad you went to school with, who attempted a foray into the illegal pet trade. Apparently his ambitions were cut short when a badger nearly took his arm off. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 20>> Big Shirl tells you she’s seen a stranger in an anorak in town recently, and is convinced that he’s a location scout for a television show. Silent Witness, she reckons, or maybe Homes Under the Hammer. Why these are her two most likely candidates is unclear, but Shirl does have an eye for these things. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 21>> Big Shirl tells you about the handsome new veterinary nurse who has just joined the local practice. Apparently a number of locals have racked up huge bills getting their pets examined, usually for ailments that seem to miraculously resolve themselves. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 22>> Shirl tells you about a fight that almost broke out at last night’s meeting of the Rotary Club. It was ostensibly over which charity would be the beneficiary of this month’s fun run, but Shirl suspects that there’s something more salacious going on behind the scenes. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 23>> Shirl tells you three separate anecdotes about parking disputes on her road, each one more dramatic than the last. In one story, the police had to be called after one neighbour drove their hatchback into the ornamental pond of another. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 24>> Shirl tells you—under strictest confidence—that she’s fairly sure the woman who runs the kitschy craft shop is money laundering. There’s no way, Shirl says, that she’s keeping that business afloat on macrame plant holders alone. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 25>> Shirl fills you in on the ongoing saga of the McManus family, who have been locked in a bloody inheritance feud since their matriarch passed away two years ago. Apparently the cash and the property has all been divvied out now, but they’re all still at each other’s throats over the Denby dinner service. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 26>> Shirl thinks she’s uncovered the identity of ‘Offended in Otterley’, the perpetually-incensed local who writes into the local paper every week. She’s convinced it’s Trevor, the quiet elderly man who leads the weekly litter-pick. No one, she says, could spend their life picking up crisp packets and dog turds without descending into apoplectic rage. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 27>> Big Shirl tells you that Mr Gibbons, your old headmaster, is retiring at the end of the year. Apparently he and his wife are going to move to Ibiza where, he was overheard saying in the staffroom, ‘he hopes to never see a bloody child again’. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 28>> Big Shirl updates you on the ‘cattle grid situation’, a long-running local dispute so Byzantine that you can barely understand what it’s actually about, let alone what you should think about it. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 29>> Big Shirl tells you that she thinks she has a secret admirer. Apparently someone sent her flowers on her birthday, but didn’t sign the card. She seems thrilled with this—possibly even more thrilled by the mystery than the attention. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<elseif $natter == 30>> Shirl tells you that some of the local teenagers were caught ‘smoking wacky backy’ behind the youth club last week, and that everyone is trying to figure out who’s been selling it to them. Shirl suspects Moira, the president of the allotment society, as ‘it would be the perfect cover’. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <<else>> You spend some time nattering with Big Shirl. Your Gift of the Gab skill has increased <</if>> [[Return|talenta]] <<set $natter += 1>> <>

This is the end of the Last Orders demo! Thank you for playing. You can fill out the feedback form <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdYra3y9cG6XRaMWbfvjJ4w7ZdL8Hx-8-d6BmFcIqr5LSKoVA/viewform?usp=dialog">here</a>.

<> <<if $talk ==1>> ‘Are you?’ says Hazel, incredulous. ‘Denial is a river in Egypt, $pcname.’ <<elseif $talk == 2>> ‘Yup,’ Hazel says. ‘It’s like an anxiety dream. Except I can’t wake up. And I’m usually wearing clothes.’ <<else>> BUG <</if>> ‘It’s cool that you guys have taken this place over, though,’ Ravi says. ‘It’s always been a bit… stale. Not exactly a big draw. People at the centre are excited about it.’ ‘Well, hopefully it won’t be a vast disappointment for them,’ Hazel says. ‘Speaking of the centre…’ Ravi reaches into his rucksack, and pulls out one of those plastic charity boxes with a coin slot in the top. ‘Not to be cheeky, but do you reckon it’d be okay if I left this on the bar? We’re massively short on our fundraising target. Even spare change is welcome at this point.’ Ravi looks a little embarrassed to even be asking you for this small favour. He cares about the centre, you know, and the place really isn’t in the best nick. [[‘Yeah, of course, leave the box here. No problem.’|ravi1.3][$talk to 1]] [[‘I’m sure we can do better than that. I’ll have a whip round right now.’ (Helping Hands)|ravi1.3][$talk to 2]] <>

<> <<if $talk == 1>> ‘Cheers, $pcname,’ he says, placing the box on the end of the bar by the snacks. ‘I’ll come and empty it at the end of the week. Hopefully your tips won’t suffer too much.’ ‘Tips!’ Hazel barks out a laugh. ‘Chance would be a fine thing.’ When she sees Ravi’s hangdog expression she clears her throat, corrects herself. ‘I mean, I’m sure you’ll do fine. People love giving to charity. Less so us. Charity cases though we might be.’ Ravi laughs, the momentary tension broken. He orders a soft drink, and the three of you chat between customers, swapping anecdotes from your childhood and catching each other up on the last few years. It’s nice to remember that you did have some good times in Otterley, after all. $pubname’s reputation is unchanged <<elseif ($talk == 2) and ($firstaid gte 25)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" +5>> ‘Oh, cheers, $pcname,’ Ravi says. ‘That’d be great. Thank you.’ This isn’t your first experience charity fundraising. You know that people connect to human stories, so you bring Ravi with you when you go and talk to the regulars. Most of them know him from around the village, and you gently steer the discussion towards the community centre. Nearly all of the people you speak to either use the centre’s services, or have friends or relatives who do. Once you’ve established that the cause is an important one, you gently bring up the fact that the place is in need of repairs, and that you’re currently collecting money towards them. Almost everyone donates a few quid, and a couple of people say it’s good to see the pub’s new owners getting more involved in village life. ‘Thank you,’ says Ravi afterwards, hefting the charity box in his hand. ‘That’s a great start. Really appreciate it, $pcname. You’re a good mate.’ $pubname’s reputation has slightly improved <<elseif ($talk ==2)>> <<fair_plus "$pubrep" -5>> ‘Oh,’ Ravi says. ‘I mean, I just thought I could leave it on the bar, but… alright.’ You stride out into the centre of the pub. Fundraising. How hard can it be? Hefting the charity box, you give it a hard shake, sending the coins inside jingling. Several regulars wince at the noise. ‘Come on, everyone!’ you call. ‘Fundraising for the community centre! Empty your pockets now, come on! Don’t be stingy!’ Everyone ignores you and turns back to their pints. The atmosphere in the parlour is uncomfortable, and becomes more so as you rattle the box with increased desperation. Eventually Ravi comes over and gently steers you back towards the bar. ‘People don’t tend to like being guilt-tripped,’ he says quietly. ‘Best just leave the box on the bar, eh?’ Embarrassed, you do as he suggests. It looks like charity fundraising isn’t quite part of your skill set. $pubname’s reputation has been slightly damaged <<else>> BUG <</if>> [[Call last orders.|endnight]] <<set $talk to 0>> <>